grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
edited June 2005 in Strut Central
yeah motherfuckers. i posted this yesterday and it took me so long to write i decided to post it again. just to keep it "record related" as they say...

anyways, my homey drez had mentioned that he and i should write a book or something about doo wop which i thought was a great idea except for 2 reasons.

1. i dont like books.
2. i dont know anything about doo wop except for the records that i already have and those arent even mine theyre my moms.

but it got me thinking about it and i came up with the following. not a book per se, but some short comparative shit. oh yeah, and before i get started i dont know where you live [philly or ny?] but LA's own is out there. maybe youll meet up someday.

the gomonshu of doo wop[/b]

yeah bitches. i said gomonshu and im talking about myself. what? you thought buddhists were all a bunch a fucking hippies and shit? loving the earth and what not? yeah, yeah, i do that too, but this aint about that. this is about doo wop motherfuckers so sit back ring a bell and burn some incense.

in gassho,


chapter 1 the reeds[/b]

see, the thing with you kids today is you want it all at once all the time. wait, isnt that what the old coots say? well its true. hell, even these old r&b dudes that make the music on most these doo wop cuts felt the same. i mean, i dont know how many jazz bios ive read that talk about this dude or that dude paying his dues in the r&b world. when alls these glory hounds wanted to do was to straight mash out for 45 minutes on some "exploration" shit. now now. dont get me wrong. i like the jazz too, but it's so self indulgent sometimes. so ostentatious. and the songs are so damn long. if its one thing i hate, it's long drawn out things. like, dude, all that shit could be cut down to a svelt 2 minutes and 30 seconds. a ha! doo wop tunes are usually about 2 1/2 minutes. innt that dandy.

and that's what i love about these reed dudes on them old doo wop joints. at most you will get 30 seconds of pure saxophone goodness. it's like demiglace. demiglace is basically run of the mill beef stock soup that's been boiled down to a thimble full of flavor. you dont need a giant steaming vat of beef stock. all's you need is that pure shit. that bone marrow that's been boiled down for hours and hours and hell even days until it reaches a thick rich glaze. motherfuckers check that little julian herrera tune where the sax takes you on a 20 second outro of bliss. and it aint complex. it aint some up in your head shit. unless you let it take you there. i mean the psychological implications of leaving you wanting more. the complex human voice mimickery and gut bucket gimmickery. that smoov breathy shit. fuck dudes, i just wanna hear a cut of some dude pushing air out the valves in slow vibrato. i mean, that's some sexy shit right there.

now, you may be asking yourself "self, what is this asshole going on about? what does this have to do with buddhism?" yeah. well first kick yourself in the nuts for calling me an asshole. good boy. now, perhaps it'll become clearer as you read on

chapter 2 sutras[/b]

sutras are these boring ass chants we'd have to do in church. you know, that stereotypical shit were some bald dudes in robes sit around droning some nonsense over and over and over again. yeah, i wasnt big on the sutras. i mean, really. what a complete waste of time. alright. ok. well, some people find that its repetitive nature helps lull them into some sort of meditative state or some such. ok. fair enough. i mean, this all meant absolutely nothing to me until doo wop.


i am saying. these nonsensical phrases are an integral part to the doo wop sound.


and it takes some getting used to. like, it's silly and it dont mean nothing.


but over time, say 2 1/2 minutes, that shit becomes meditative


to the point where you catch yourself singing doobee doobee doo to yourself in your car cuz that's that shit that hits you.


chapter 3 the right hand[/b]

starting to come together for you is it? no? well fuck off, youre reading this shit so i guess that makes you a complete idiot.

the thing with japanese buddhist aesthetic that i love is its simplicity. from its rice bowls to it's temples. there isnt a lot of garish decor and gold llamme bunting. and if you listen closely. real close. you will hear the necessary yet simple nuances of doo wop. the reeds, yes, we discussed the reeds. they are allotted a brief time to shine so it isnt as concealed as some of the other instrumentation in the songs. quite possibly because the reeds and brass are close in timbre to the human voice. yet distinct. which ive failed to mention as of yet. the vocals. simple songwriting, beautiful harmonies [which i might add is highly praised in buddhism. well, not vocal harmonies, but the idea of harmony. eh, fuck it. you dont care.]

now the piano rules the doo wop sound. mostly them lower chords tapping out the rhythm. part percussion, strings. but if you listen closely, and really folks, its 2 1/2 minutes. you can focus for that long. but if you listen closely youll hear a note or two hammer out throughout the song. never too much, but also never too little. some might prefer more right hand, but i like that shit like a hint of oak in my single malt scotch. the simplicty of it adds to the overall complexity of the drink. i mean song. now buy me a drink.


in closing id like to reiterate how much i fucking rule this planet. oh, and id also like to say doo wop is great, in doses. i mean, i aint at home listening to this shit all the time. just most of the time.the other half the time im eating some food, smoking some weed, or watching tv.

wow, that souded really sad. alright, fuck you.
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