Who here doesn't like poetry?

SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
edited February 2007 in Strut Central
I don't. Can't stand 99.9 percent of it.I liked some of that beat poetry shit for a while back in the mid 90s, and so I guess I still dig that, but for the most part its all pretentious crap to me. I feel like if you have something to say, then say it. As soon as people start babbling words I just tune out. I can't help it.I've tried to like poetry, but I've given up. It somehow offends my sense of reason or something.Post some good poetry, though, and I will try to read it and maybe I will like a poem.Seriously. Post the best poem you know. I will try to read it with an open mind.

  Comments


  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts


    respect the god.
    i'm not really a big fan of poetry. though i havent delved very deep into the game. i do however enjoy the hell out of reading bukowski. some lines youu just have to keep rereading. shel silverstein was cool ass a kid.

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    the insane always loved me

    and the subnormal.

    all through grammar school

    junior high

    high school

    junior college

    the unwanted would attach

    themselves to

    me.

    guys with one arm

    guys with twitches

    guys with speech defects

    guys with white film

    over one eye,

    cowards

    misanthropes

    killers

    peep-freaks

    and thieves.

    and all through the

    factories and on the

    bum

    I always drew the

    unwanted. they found me

    right off and attached

    themselves. they

    still do.

    in this neighborhood now

    there's one who's

    found me.

    he pushes around a

    shopping cart

    filled with trash:

    broken canes, shoelaces,

    empty potato chip bags,

    milk cartons, newspapers, penholders . . .

    "hey, buddy, how ya doin'?"

    I stop and we talk a

    while.

    then I say goodbye

    but he still follows

    me

    past the beer

    parlours and the

    love parlours . . .

    "keep me informed,

    buddy, keep me informed,

    I want to know what's

    going on."

    he's my new one.

    I've never seen him

    talk to anybody

    else.

    the cart rattles

    along a little bit

    behind me

    then something

    falls out.

    he stops to pick

    it up.

    as he does I

    walk through the

    front door of the

    green hotel on the

    corner

    pass down through

    the hall

    come out the back

    door and

    there's a cat

    shitting there in

    absolute delight,

    he grins at

    me.

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    how to be a great writer

    you've got to fuck a great many women

    beautiful women

    and write a few decent love poems.

    and don't worry about age

    and / or freshly-arrived talents.

    just drink more beer

    more and more beer

    and attend the racetrack at least once a

    week

    and win

    if possible.

    learning to win is hard--

    any slob can be a good loser.

    and don't forget your Brahms

    and your Bach and your

    beer.

    don't overexcercise.

    sleep until noon.

    avoid credit cards

    or paying for anything on

    time.

    remember that there isn't a piece of ass

    in this world worth more than $50

    (in 1977).

    and if you have the ability to love

    love yourself first

    but always be aware of the possibility of

    total defeat

    whether the reason for that defeat

    seems right or wrong--

    an early taste of death is not necessarily

    a bad thing.

    stay out of churches and bars and museums,

    and like the spider be

    patient--

    time is everybody's cross,

    plus

    exile

    defeat

    treachery

    all that dross.

    stay with the beer.

    beer is continuous blood.

    a continuous lover.

    get a large typewriter

    and as the footsteps go up and down

    outside your window

    hit that thing

    hit it hard

    make it a heavyweight fight

    make it the bull when he first charges in

    and remember the old dogs

    who fought so well:

    Hemingway, Celine, Dostoevsky, Hamsun.

    If you don't think they didn't go crazy

    in tiny rooms

    just like you're doing now

    without women

    without food

    without hope

    then you're not ready.

    drink more beer.

    there's time.

    and if there's not

    that's all right

    too.

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    Those aren't bad, but it seems like he could have just wrote normal sentences and it would have been the same?

  • deejdeej 5,125 Posts
    Monday in B-Flat

    I can pray
    all day
    & God
    wont come.

    But if I call
    911
    The Devil
    Be here

    in a minute!

  • respect the god.
    i'm not really a big fan of poetry. though i havent delved very deep into the game. i do however enjoy the hell out of reading bukowski. some lines youu just have to keep rereading. shel silverstein was cool ass a kid.




    I'm not too in to most poetry/poems/poets, but Bukowski is the man. Some other Beat shit is cool too. Obviously Langston's gotta get props..

  • deejdeej 5,125 Posts
    i like bukowski but he's totally the 'poetry for people who don't like poetry' dude

    i prefer when he's bitching about being a postal worker, drinking copius amounts of liquor and getting laid.
    oh wait thats the poetry too

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    Those aren't bad, but it seems like he could have just wrote normal sentences and it would have been the same?


    thats what made him so great to read. it's so simple yet says so much. he was one of the first to cut out all the crap and get to the bare bone of the shit.


    the riots

    I've watched this city burn twice
    in my lifetime
    and the most notable thing
    was the arrival of the
    politicians in the
    aftermath
    proclaiming the wrongs of
    the system
    and demanding new
    policies toward and for the
    poor.

    nothing was corrected last
    time.
    nothing will be corrected this
    time.

    the poor will remain poor.
    the unemployed will remain
    so.
    the homeless will remain
    homeless

    and the politicians,
    fat upon the land, will live
    very well.

  • HAZHAZ 3,376 Posts
    I like me some Pushkin, Nekrasov, Lermontov, Tyutchev, etc... English is not a very poetic language. Baudelaire is cool too.

  • i like bukowski but he's totally the 'poetry for people who don't like poetry' dude

    i prefer when he's bitching about being a postal worker, drinking copius amounts of liquor and getting laid.
    oh wait thats the poetry too

    Post Office was ill. I finished that literally two days ago.

  • holmesholmes 3,532 Posts
    I am actually DJing at at poetry jam tomorrow night. I think I will be listening to records on my headphones while the poets do their thing.

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts




    The riots. I've watched this city burn twice in my lifetime and the most notable thing was the arrival of the politicians in the aftermath proclaiming the wrongs of the system and demanding new policies toward and for the poor.

    Nothing was corrected last time. Nothing will be corrected this time.

    The poor will remain poor. The unemployed will remain so. The homeless will remain
    homeless and the politicians, fat upon the land, will live very well.


    I didn't change a single word there, but in paragraph form that is a loooot easier to read (to me). So I guess I don't get the idea of splitting up all those words when you could have just write it like this in the first place.


    post some more poetry, people!

  • The Pen by Jazz One

    I was the last one seen at the rhyme scene
    inkless pens lie on the ground like spent shells
    the blue lines on the page
    tilted sideways become a cage
    the lines from my pen begin to stray
    outside the margin, I hear the dogs barkin'
    I can't see the sky, the walls are grey
    I can't tell if it's night, but I'll be okay
    if they take my pens, I use shards
    my story will be written in my scars
    I pay my penances by serving sentences

    I woke from a dream last night
    I had wings destined for flight
    but I couldn't fly high in the sky
    in a fit of rage, I thrashed around the cage
    my only escape would be on the page
    I plucked quills from my wings
    shanked my inner demons for ink
    used their skin as paper
    and bound my books with their spines
    chronicling my life and times in rhymes

    I can't tell if I am in a prison or a zoo
    are these bars here for me or you
    this isn't HBO and this is not Oz
    I'm not sure which words are mine
    or which words are God's
    my mail is read, my phone is tapped
    my truth refuses to be trapped
    before I slung nouns and verbs from curbs
    at the corner of depression and redemption
    locked up but still pushing keys
    not the yayo but on a laptop
    my book will come in a ziplock
    I am only as free as my pen will let me be
    No guards with silencers will ever silence me.

  • parsecparsec 5,087 Posts
    dizzy bull, knowing your humor, you should check out Richard Brautigan. really funny stuff but also poetic

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    dizzy bull, knowing your humor, you should check out Richard Brautigan. really funny stuff but also poetic

    Just type it all out here so I don't have to like, do stuff.

  • BigSpliffBigSpliff 3,266 Posts
    I saw an episode of the Jerry Springer show and the topic was "Tranvestites and the Men Who Love Them." And the guy who was on with his "girlfriend" was saying "To me, this is a beautiful woman. She's got a perfect body, beautiful blonde hair, everything. I love her, and I love making love to her. Now I ask you, does that make me gay?"

    Most of the audience thought so, and so did I, but it got me thinking about what is or isn't gay.



    Discussing sex with a guy is gay.

    Discussing sex with a woman is straight, even telling a woman "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to suck a cock" is straight.

    Sports are gay, especially contact sports, unless you're the only guy on both teams, in which case it is straight.

    Gyms are always gay, because afterwords, in the locker room, you're showering with guys, and that is gay.

    Watching pornography alone is neutral, like eating a sandwich. It's neither straight nor gay.

    Watching pornos with one or more other guys in the room, no matter how many other women are also in the room, is gay.

    Watching porn, even gay porn, with one or more women ONLY is straight.



    Here's an interesting one: kissing a gay guy on the cheek, or having him kiss YOU on the cheek is neutral, as long as the guy is out of the closet. Hugging and/or kissing a straight guy . . . is gay.

    See, look, I . . . I know I'm homophobic, but not about gay guys. They don't bother me at all. It's straight guys who don't know they're gay.

    They fuck my shit right up.

    Like a guy calls me up and says "A bunch of us guys are gonna sit around in our underwear and watch a football game and drink beer and eat chips, and, you know, maybe wrestle with each other a little, you know, just us guys! You wanna come over?"

    And I'm like "No."



    OK, you've got a guy sucking your dick, even if he's dressed like a beautiful woman, even if he's got the best breast implants you've ever seen, even if you're saying "Suck it bitch, I know you like it, you slut, you whore," that's gay.

    Adversely, if a woman straps on a dildo and you're dressed like a woman and you're suckin' her cock and she's sayin' "You like it, don't you, you like sucking my dick, you little fucking faggot" and she rolls you over and fucks you in the ass and says "you love it, you little pussy boy, you love getting fucked in the ass, I bet you wish I was a man, I bet you wish this was a cock, you fucking faggot" and you're getting off on this like you've never gotten off before . . .

    that's still straight.

    But then, when you go off to the bar, and you discuss this, or any other sexual experience with any other guys, that's gay.



    Here's the most interesting one:

    Sucking a guy's cock, can, under certain rare circumstances, be straight.

    Let's say you've gotten into a betting game with a woman, and the bet is whoever loses has to be the other's sex slave for the night, the kind of thing that happens in Penthouse Forum all the time, and you lose, and the woman makes you have sex with another guy, that's not gay.



    I don't know exactly why, but it's not.

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    The Pen by Jazz One

    I was the last one seen at the rhyme scene
    inkless pens lie on the ground like spent shells
    the blue lines on the page
    tilted sideways become a cage
    the lines from my pen begin to stray
    outside the margin, I hear the dogs barkin'
    I can't see the sky, the walls are grey
    I can't tell if it's night, but I'll be okay
    if they take my pens, I use shards
    my story will be written in my scars
    I pay my penances by serving sentences

    I woke from a dream last night
    I had wings destined for flight
    but I couldn't fly high in the sky
    in a fit of rage, I thrashed around the cage
    my only escape would be on the page
    I plucked quills from my wings
    shanked my inner demons for ink
    used their skin as paper
    and bound my books with their spines
    chronicling my life and times in rhymes

    I can't tell if I am in a prison or a zoo
    are these bars here for me or you
    this isn't HBO and this is not Oz
    I'm not sure which words are mine
    or which words are God's
    my mail is read, my phone is tapped
    my truth refuses to be trapped
    before I slung nouns and verbs from curbs
    at the corner of depression and redemption
    locked up but still pushing keys
    not the yayo but on a laptop
    my book will come in a ziplock
    I am only as free as my pen will let me be
    No guards with silencers will ever silence me.




    no offense. it sounds like some bad spoken word. but like i said, im not really a fan of poetry.

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    Big Spliff that's one of my favorite poems of all time.

  • BigSpliffBigSpliff 3,266 Posts

  • a really good primer. paglia's responses and interpretations are par excellence.


  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    Spliff, to be totally honest here, i was being sarcastic. i thought you were fucking around. that was really a poem???
    wow.

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    I saw an episode of the Jerry Springer show and the topic was "Tranvestites and the Men Who Love Them." And the guy who was on with his "girlfriend" was saying "To me, this is a beautiful woman. She's got a perfect body, beautiful blonde hair, everything. I love her, and I love making love to her. Now I ask you, does that make me gay?"

    Most of the audience thought so, and so did I, but it got me thinking about what is or isn't gay.



    Discussing sex with a guy is gay.

    Discussing sex with a woman is straight, even telling a woman "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to suck a cock" is straight.

    Sports are gay, especially contact sports, unless you're the only guy on both teams, in which case it is straight.

    Gyms are always gay, because afterwords, in the locker room, you're showering with guys, and that is gay.

    Watching pornography alone is neutral, like eating a sandwich. It's neither straight nor gay.

    Watching pornos with one or more other guys in the room, no matter how many other women are also in the room, is gay.

    Watching porn, even gay porn, with one or more women ONLY is straight.



    Here's an interesting one: kissing a gay guy on the cheek, or having him kiss YOU on the cheek is neutral, as long as the guy is out of the closet. Hugging and/or kissing a straight guy . . . is gay.

    See, look, I . . . I know I'm homophobic, but not about gay guys. They don't bother me at all. It's straight guys who don't know they're gay.

    They fuck my shit right up.

    Like a guy calls me up and says "A bunch of us guys are gonna sit around in our underwear and watch a football game and drink beer and eat chips, and, you know, maybe wrestle with each other a little, you know, just us guys! You wanna come over?"

    And I'm like "No."



    OK, you've got a guy sucking your dick, even if he's dressed like a beautiful woman, even if he's got the best breast implants you've ever seen, even if you're saying "Suck it bitch, I know you like it, you slut, you whore," that's gay.

    Adversely, if a woman straps on a dildo and you're dressed like a woman and you're suckin' her cock and she's sayin' "You like it, don't you, you like sucking my dick, you little fucking faggot" and she rolls you over and fucks you in the ass and says "you love it, you little pussy boy, you love getting fucked in the ass, I bet you wish I was a man, I bet you wish this was a cock, you fucking faggot" and you're getting off on this like you've never gotten off before . . .

    that's still straight.

    But then, when you go off to the bar, and you discuss this, or any other sexual experience with any other guys, that's gay.



    Here's the most interesting one:

    Sucking a guy's cock, can, under certain rare circumstances, be straight.

    Let's say you've gotten into a betting game with a woman, and the bet is whoever loses has to be the other's sex slave for the night, the kind of thing that happens in Penthouse Forum all the time, and you lose, and the woman makes you have sex with another guy, that's not gay.



    I don't know exactly why, but it's not.


    Thats not a poem!


    Does anybody know any poems about ninjas? I might like that.

  • BigSpliffBigSpliff 3,266 Posts
    Spliff, to be totally honest here, i was being sarcastic. i thought you were fucking around. that was really a poem???
    wow.

    Gary and Melissa

    Loved to make love

    Loved to make love

    Loved to make love to each other

    Over and over and over again

    For the first few weeks of their relationship

    They made love four or five times a night

    They were really turned on for awhile



    Then to enhance their passion

    They bought sex books

    The Joy of Sex

    The Sensous Couple

    The Joy of Sex Part 2

    The Kama Sutra

    Even Yet More Still Joy of Sex

    Popular Mechanics

    Betty Crocker

    Anything

    They tried as many positions as they were capable of

    Physically

    Physically

    Physically

    They were really turned on for awhile



    Then to heighten their passion

    They bought sex toys

    Ben-wa balls

    French ticklers

    Nipple clamps

    Cock rings

    Whips and chains and bondage gear

    Bowling balls

    Dildos

    Vibrators

    Watermelons

    Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty

    Anything

    They were really turned on for awhile



    They set up a video camera

    And taped themselves having sex

    Then they watched it on the VCR

    While having more sex

    Then to heighten their passion

    Gary taped Melissa having sex with some of his friends

    And Melissa taped Gary having sex with some of her friends

    Then they watched it on the VCR

    While having more sex

    They were really turned on



    As the years went by

    Gary and Melissa became fine upstanding members of their community

    Although they never married

    Their relationship outlasted all the marriages on their block

    And they never fought

    Except to heighten their passion



    They had made an agreement

    That when one of them died

    The other would continue to live with and make love to the corpse

    But as luck would have it

    They were both killed in a freak accident

    And died at the exact same moment

    Holding hands

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    Ginsberg



    In the Baggage Room at Greyhound ( Top of Page )

    I
    In the depths of the Greyhound Terminal
    sitting dumbly on a baggage truck looking at the sky
    waiting for the Los Angeles Express to depart
    worrying about eternity over the Post Office roof in
    the night-time red downtown heaven
    staring through my eyeglasses I realized shuddering
    these thoughts were not eternity, nor the poverty
    of our lives, irritable baggage clerks,
    nor the millions of weeping relatives surrounding the
    buses waving goodbye,
    nor other millions of the poor rushing around from
    city to city to see their loved ones,
    nor an indian dead with fright talking to a huge cop
    by the Coke machine,
    nor this trembling old lady with a cane taking the last
    trip of her life,
    nor the red-capped cynical porter collecting his quar-
    ters and smiling over the smashed baggage,
    nor me looking around at the horrible dream,
    nor mustached negro Operating Clerk named Spade,
    dealing out with his marvelous long hand the
    fate of thousands of express packages,
    nor fairy Sam in the basement limping from leaden
    trunk to trunk,
    nor Joe at the counter with his nervous breakdown
    smiling cowardly at the customers,
    nor the grayish-green whale's stomach interior loft
    where we keep the baggage in hideous racks,
    hundreds of suitcases full of tragedy rocking back and
    forth waiting to be opened,
    nor the baggage that's lost, nor damaged handles,
    nameplates vanished, busted wires and broken
    ropes, whole trunks exploding on the concrete
    floor,
    nor seabags emptied into the night in the final
    warehouse.

    II
    Yet Spade reminded me of Angel, unloading a bus,
    dressed in blue overalls black face official Angel's work-
    man cap,
    pushing with his belly a huge tin horse piled high with
    black baggage,
    looking up as he passed the yellow light bulb of the loft
    and holding high on his arm an iron shepherd's crook.

    III
    It was the racks, I realized, sitting myself on top of
    them now as is my wont at lunchtime to rest
    my tired foot,
    it was the racks, great wooden shelves and stanchions
    posts and beams assembled floor to roof jumbled
    with baggage,
    -the Japanese white metal postwar trunk gaudily
    flowered and headed for Fort Bragg,
    one Mexican green paper package in purple rope
    adorned with names for Nogales,
    hundreds of radiators all at once for Eureka,
    crates of Hawaiian underwear,
    rolls of posters scattered over the Peninsula, nuts to
    Sacramento,
    one human eye for Napa,
    an aluminum box of human blood for Stockton
    and a little red package of teeth for Calistoga-
    it was the racks and these on the racks I saw naked
    in electric light the night before I quit,
    the racks were created to hang our possessions, to keep
    us together, a temporary shift in space,
    God's only way of building the rickety structure of
    Time,
    to hold the bags to send on the roads, to carry our
    luggage from place to place
    looking for a bus to ride us back home to Eternity
    where the heart was left and farewell tears
    began.

    IV
    A swarm of baggage sitting by the counter as the trans-
    continental bus pulls in.
    The clock registering 12:15 A.M., May 9, 1956, the
    second hand moving forward, red.
    Getting ready to load my last bus.-Farewell, Walnut
    Creek Richmond Vallejo Portland Pacific
    Highway
    Fleet-footed Quicksilver, God of transience.
    One last package sits lone at midnight sticking up out
    of the Coast rack high as the dusty fluorescent
    light.
    The wage they pay us is too low to live on. Tragedy
    reduced to numbers.
    This for the poor shepherds. I am a communist.
    Farewell ye Greyhound where I suffered so much,
    hurt my knee and scraped my hand and built
    my pectoral muscles big as a vagina.

  • BigSpliffBigSpliff 3,266 Posts
    double spaced plaese. Fucks up my scansion

    C-

  • In Praise Of Limestone
    W.H. Auden


    If it form the one landscape that we, the inconstant ones,
    Are consistently homesick for, this is chiefly
    Because it dissolves in water. Mark these rounded slopes
    With their surface fragrance of thyme and, beneath,
    A secret system of caves and conduits; hear the springs
    That spurt out everywhere with a chuckle,
    Each filling a private pool for its fish and carving
    Its own little ravine whose cliffs entertain
    The butterfly and the lizard; examine this region
    Of short distances and definite places:
    What could be more like Mother or a fitter background
    For her son, the flirtatious male who lounges
    Against a rock in the sunlight, never doubting
    That for all his faults he is loved; whose works are but
    Extensions of his power to charm? From weathered outcrop
    To hill-top temple, from appearing waters to
    Conspicuous fountains, from a wild to a formal vineyard,
    Are ingenious but short steps that a child's wish
    To receive more attention than his brothers, whether
    By pleasing or teasing, can easily take.

    Watch, then, the band of rivals as they climb up and down
    Their steep stone gennels in twos and threes, at times
    Arm in arm, but never, thank God, in step; or engaged
    On the shady side of a square at midday in
    Voluble discourse, knowing each other too well to think
    There are any important secrets, unable
    To conceive a god whose temper-tantrums are moral
    And not to be pacified by a clever line
    Or a good lay: for accustomed to a stone that responds,
    They have never had to veil their faces in awe
    Of a crater whose blazing fury could not be fixed;
    Adjusted to the local needs of valleys
    Where everything can be touched or reached by walking,
    Their eyes have never looked into infinite space
    Through the lattice-work of a nomad's comb; born lucky,
    Their legs have never encountered the fungi
    And insects of the jungle, the monstrous forms and lives
    With which we have nothing, we like to hope, in common.
    So, when one of them goes to the bad, the way his mind works
    Remains incomprehensible: to become a pimp
    Or deal in fake jewellery or ruin a fine tenor voice
    For effects that bring down the house, could happen to all
    But the best and the worst of us...
    That is why, I suppose,
    The best and worst never stayed here long but sought
    Immoderate soils where the beauty was not so external,
    The light less public and the meaning of life
    Something more than a mad camp. 'Come!' cried the granite wastes,
    "How evasive is your humour, how accidental
    Your kindest kiss, how permanent is death." (Saints-to-be
    Slipped away sighing.) "Come!" purred the clays and gravels,
    "On our plains there is room for armies to drill; rivers
    Wait to be tamed and slaves to construct you a tomb
    In the grand manner: soft as the earth is mankind and both
    Need to be altered." (Intendant Caesars rose and
    Left, slamming the door.) But the really reckless were fetched
    By an older colder voice, the oceanic whisper:
    "I am the solitude that asks and promises nothing;
    That is how I shall set you free. There is no love;
    There are only the various envies, all of them sad."

    They were right, my dear, all those voices were right
    And still are; this land is not the sweet home that it looks,
    Nor its peace the historical calm of a site
    Where something was settled once and for all: A back ward
    And dilapidated province, connected
    To the big busy world by a tunnel, with a certain
    Seedy appeal, is that all it is now? Not quite:
    It has a worldy duty which in spite of itself
    It does not neglect, but calls into question
    All the Great Powers assume; it disturbs our rights. The poet,
    Admired for his earnest habit of calling
    The sun the sun, his mind Puzzle, is made uneasy
    By these marble statues which so obviously doubt
    His antimythological myth; and these gamins,
    Pursuing the scientist down the tiled colonnade
    With such lively offers, rebuke his concern for Nature's
    Remotest aspects: I, too, am reproached, for what
    And how much you know. Not to lose time, not to get caught,
    Not to be left behind, not, please! to resemble
    The beasts who repeat themselves, or a thing like water
    Or stone whose conduct can be predicted, these
    Are our common prayer, whose greatest comfort is music
    Which can be made anywhere, is invisible,
    And does not smell. In so far as we have to look forward
    To death as a fact, no doubt we are right: But if
    Sins can be forgiven, if bodies rise from the dead,
    These modifications of matter into
    Innocent athletes and gesticulating fountains,
    Made solely for pleasure, make a further point:
    The blessed will not care what angle they are regarded from,
    Having nothing to hide. Dear, I know nothing of
    Either, but when I try to imagine a faultless love
    Or the life to come, what I hear is the murmur
    Of underground streams, what I see is a limestone landscape.

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    I have no idea what that had to do with ninjas.
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