Man, I'm sick of Pandas.
Swayze
14,705 Posts
Seriously. Pandas. Whoopty-fucking-doo. CNN is now all like "Atlanta is getting a panda! weee!" So what? And people here in SD acted like a Panda giving birth was the second coming of christ. Yeah, they are cute, but so are pigs. And on animal planet every other show is about goddam pandas. Last night I scrolled through the guide looking for any show about monkeys. no monkey shows. nothing but pandas and the dog whisperer.What's half black, half white, and all chinese? a panda. I went and saw a panda a few years ago at the zoo and what did it do? it did what all pandas do. it sat there looking like a panda.Gorrillas are wayyyy cooler. so are elephants and rhinos and pigs.the reason why I'm so angry is that I went on flickr because I'm all excited to go to the zoo this weekend, so I wanted to see cool pics from the zoo. so i did a search on "San Diego Zoo". Almost all of the pictures were of pandas, and most were by the same 2 people. And I was like GODDAMIT CAN A MOTHERFUCKER SEE A PICTURE OF A GORILLA ALREADY?!? And the captions were so cutesy wootsy godawful. I'll list some of them:Taking a break between play sessionsMama still rules the nest during playtime I love my cake!Let's get goofy! Little Su makes claim to being the cutest panda girl ever Su Lin enjoying her boo today Cute little Su Lin showing a ballet move while balancing on the top of a Chinese Elm tree Hey, I'm here!My job is being cute. Su Lin examines the log (ed: ok, this one is awesome. log. hehehehe.)Su Lin is doing some kind of ritual before eating her fruitsicle "I gotcha mama" (are you sure Su?) Yaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!! Cute little Su Lin is really enjoying her treat today Hi! Did you come to see me?No, Mrs. Robinson, I'm sleepy. Cute little Su Lin posing after her nap today Arrested!! (the eyesay it ALL) I had a chance to visit my little buddy Gao Gao today this from ONLY 3 PAGES.So I would like to declare today NATIONAL FUCK PANDAS DAY.You little bastards make me sick. You have to potential to kill people with your claws. Do it, and I will show you respect.
Comments
We took these a year or 2 ago at the SD Zoo. I don't remember what these are (ringtail somethingorother?), but they had some interesting animals in there.
Say hi to the lil homie for me
who you trying to get crazy with ese?
No offense to you of course. I mean, I have panda friends, but they are like, the good pandas, you know?
This morning I was singing a little song to myself in the shower, and it was about pandas. In kinda of a old timey '20s swing style. It went something like this:
Hey everybody lets go to the zoo
They got monkeys and elephants and hippos too
(panda voice)But what about pandas? They're so cute!
Man, fuck pandas!
(panda)well fuck you too!
Pandas pandas, what do they do?
Sit around all day and eat bamboo
(panda voice)If you were a panda you would do that too!
Man, fuck pandas!
(panda)well fuck you too!
(talking part)
panda:[/b] Why do you hate pandas so much?
me:[/b] I'm sick of you guys. All you do is sit around and eat bamboo.
panda:[/b] That's cuz we're always high!
me: [/b]Uh, what?
panda:[/b] We sit around and eat bamboo all day because we're stoned off our asses and got the munchies!
me:[/b] really? uh, how do you get high?
panda:[/b] you know, we know people... people with connections....
me:[/b] wow! thats awesome!
panda:[/b] yayyy!
(singing again)
Hey everybody lets go to the zoo
They got monkeys and elephants and birds that fly!
(panda voice)Don't forget pandas!
Oh yeah, pandas!
(all together)Leeeeets geeeeeeeet hiiiiiiiiiiigggghhhhhhh!
(tinny cymbal crash)
Thank you!
pandas are so clumsy when they try to mate, they just fall all over each other, get frustrated, give up and go look for food. i might be wrong but i think that's why they are in danger of extinction. they really don't know how to do it. so when a panda gets pregnant, it's kind of a miracle.
i love panda cubs though. especially when they play on slides:
Nah bruh you can catch a guy in...Champaign-Urbana, Illinois.
I don't think this is reserved for pandas.
I could watch them underwater for ours...
I would think you'd have to come up for air once in a while....