›

crazy dog ladies (jessica alba related)

BrianBrian 7,618 Posts
edited December 2006 in Strut Central
so im at work (coffee shop) and this crazy bitch with a dog comes in. we cannot have non-aid dogs in here cos we serve food, blah blah blah. my co-workers let her in because they're fucking stupid and i'm a bored asshole so i told her that she could not come in with her dog. she complains that other people let her in and i tell her that they are not doing their jobs and that she is not supposed to be in here with a non-aid dog. she starts throwing a fit in front of 10 or so customers watching while i just stand there on some whatever shit. i swear i am not making up the following part. she begins to leave and yells out "have a happy unhappy day" (wtf?) and i just say "ok thank you, you too." she then yells out "well jessica alba is my cousin!!![/b]" i was so amazed that she would come up with something like that, that i was unable to say anything beyond "aiight okay." THEN, i am told that "yeah and she probably wouldn't like you!!!!" which was met with another "aiight okay."so not only have i learned today that this crazy dog lady is related to jessica alba but that jessica alba would more than likely dislike me even though i have not met her yet beyond the animated .gifs posted on this website. speaking of which, can someone post a few of them to cheer me up?

  Comments

  • phono13phono13 842 Posts
    that's the craziest story

























    i've ever heard to get folks to post alba pics
  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    Jessica Alba spends thousands a year on spray on tans.

    I had to shoot a segment for this terrible show I'm working on about her spray on tans

    the people at the spray on tan place liked me

    I like you

    So I think its safe to say that Alba would like you too
  • gloomgloom 2,765 Posts
  • Big_ChanBig_Chan 5,088 Posts
    WHERE is the hommie NZshadow?
  • kwalitykwality 620 Posts
    Jessica Alba spends thousands a year on spray on tans.

    I had to shoot a segment for this terrible show I'm working on about her spray on tans

    the people at the spray on tan place liked me

    I like you

    So I think its safe to say that Alba would like you too

    Hangon, is it a show about HER spray on tan, or spray on tans in general?
    Either way,

    Seriously though, she's ruining it for all dog owners by being a nutjob. My dog (a pug, just like Jessica Alba's) spends Sunday cruising the flea with me and having breakfast at a cafe. Outside mind you.

    What about a show on Jessica Alba's dog? Or her dogs spray on tan?
  • SoulOnIceSoulOnIce 13,027 Posts


    Hangon, is it a show about HER spray on tan, or spray on tans in general?
    Either way,

    I'm baked enough that I sat here for 5 minutes
    trying to figure out why you were calling him Hangon.
  • kwalitykwality 620 Posts
    My bad... Sorry to ruin your buzz! Here's my dog. She doesn't need a fake tan.

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts


    Hangon, is it a show about HER spray on tan, or spray on tans in general?
    Either way,

    I'm baked enough that I sat here for 5 minutes
    trying to figure out why you were calling him Hangon.

    I'm sober and I looked at it for a couple minutes myself.

    The show is all about red carpet beauty secrets (spray on tans, botox, microderm facials, etc)

    we shot at a couple of the more fancy schmancy tanning spots in LA.

    I ende dup with $150 in gift certificattes that I'll never use.

    I'm going to find the whitest girl I know and make sure she has a merry christmas
  • BrianBrian 7,618 Posts
    no pictures yet and i have been reassured by a few people already that jessica and i would get along fine so im feeling a little bit better now
  • rkwparkrkwpark 915 Posts
    for her to name drop her cousin was pretty petty/retarded. i mean wtf, for all we know shes a 3rd cousin twice removed.
  • JoeMojoJoeMojo 720 Posts
    I'm baked enough that I sat here for 5 minutes
    trying to figure out why you were calling him Hangon.



    This thread is a new classic.
  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    WHERE is the hommie NZshadow?

    i gotcha guys,

    OK, big Brian, Jessica Alba fucking digs you bro... i know this because she sends me telepathic messages.
    mostly she just talks about how much she wants me to tie her up and spank her, but she has mentioned you, and she definatly thinks you are cute. as for her cousin, Jessica says that that lady is the result of her aunties one night stand with Bobby Brown. and that the bastard love child and her evil mutt bring nothing but shame on her family, Jessica has given you permission to kick the dog.



  • bthavbthav 1,538 Posts




    i need me a spray tan bitch.
  • prof_rockwellprof_rockwell 2,867 Posts
    My bad... Sorry to ruin your buzz! Here's my dog. She doesn't need a fake tan.


    plaese to esplain the disco lights in your space heater?
  • mordecaimordecai 2,204 Posts
    Hangon,


  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    WHERE is the hommie NZshadow?

    i gotcha guys,

    OK, big Brian, Jessica Alba fucking digs you bro... i know this because she sends me telepathic messages.
    mostly she just talks about how much she wants me to tie her up and spank her, but she has mentioned you, and she definatly thinks you are cute. as for her cousin, Jessica says that that lady is the result of her aunties one night stand with Bobby Brown. and that the bastard love child and her evil mutt bring nothing but shame on her family, Jessica has given you permission to kick the dog.




    Having enjoyed this footage a few times, I've always wondered whether that is Brad Pitt grabbing her ass or not?

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts

    I ende dup with $150 in gift certificattes that I'll never use.

    I'm going to find the whitest girl I know Archaic and make sure she has a merry christmas
Sign In or Register to comment.