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DJs ARE EXPERT MIND READERS

ayresayres 1,452 Posts
edited October 2006 in Strut Central
Just got this email:DJs ARE EXPERT MIND READERSWhen requesting a song from the DJ, just say "play my song", or "it goes something like this" then hum a few bars! We have a chip implanted in our heads with an unlimited database with the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar & all songs ever recorded, so feel free to be vague, we love the challenge.If we do not remember exactly what tune you want, we're only kidding.DJs know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need be... it helps jog the memory.If a DJ tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they either forgot that they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try singing a few words for the DJ. Any words.It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per set followed by the phrases, "AW, COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!" Exaggerated hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor are a big help as well, such as the thumbs down or your middle finger. Put-downs are the best way to jog a DJs memory. This instantly promotes you to the status of "Personal Friend Of The DJ."DJs are notorious fakers & jokesters and never really prepare for their shows. They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they will do once they arrive. A DJ's job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so don't let them off the hook easily. Your request is all that matters.If a DJ had played at the club a few weeks ago, the next DJ that follows will automatically know every tune the previous DJ everplayed. It's the law.Feel free to yell "Tupac!" or "Biggie!" or any rap artist of choice as soon as the DJ switches from hip hop to dance music.IMPORTANTWhen a DJ leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head securely so they cannot pull away. This will be taken as an invitation to afriendly & playful game of tug of war between their head and your hands. Don't give up! Hang on until the DJ submits.DJs are protected by their equipment, & only play the game when tricked into coming out from behind their turntables. Though difficult to get them to play, it's not impossible, so keep trying. They're especially vulnerable during mixing songs.TALKING WITH THE DJThe best time to discuss anything with the DJ in any meaningful way is whenhe is in the mix. Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. DJs are expert lip readers too. If a DJ does not reply to your question or comment during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look at your mouth in order to read your lips.Simply continue to scream your request & be sure to over emphasize the words with your lips. This helps immensely. Don't be fooled.DJs have the innate ability to answer questions & mix at the same time. If the DJ doesn't answer your questions immediately, regardless of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are purposely ignoring you.If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.HELPING THE DJIf you inform the DJ that you are a DJ, the DJ will appreciate your help with the next few tunes, or however long you can remain standing on stage. Simply feel free to walk up on stage & join in. By the way, the drunker you are, the better you sound.As a last resort, wait until the DJ takes a break and then get on stage and start playing their records or CD's. They love this. Even if you areejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact that you have successfully completed your audition. The club owner will call you immediately the following day to offer you a position.See you at theclub ...The DJ

  Comments

  • PonyPony 2,283 Posts
    This is perfect, thanks for sharing.

    "Hum Harder"
  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    I missed the fact that this was an email at first. I was about to ask if all of that happend at ally katz last night.
  • ayresayres 1,452 Posts
    I missed the fact that this was an email at first. I was about to ask if all of that happend at ally katz last night.

    nah Alley Katz was fun. zero requests - i think they haven't gotten the email yet.
  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,905 Posts
    Where is the part where it's ok for you to go through a DJ's crates to look for a song you will want the DJ to play as the very next song????

    THIS MUST BE ADDED! All bar/club patrons have this right!!!
  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    Where is the part where it's ok for you to go through a DJ's crates to look for a song you will want the DJ to play as the very next song????

    And if it is not in the crate it must be in the djs car and the dj must go and get.
  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,475 Posts
    Where is the part where it's ok for you to go through a DJ's crates to look for a song you will want the DJ to play as the very next song????

    And if it is not in the crate it must be in the djs car and the dj must go and get.

    Or better yet, just keep requesting it over and over again. If you do it enough, the record will magically appear in the DJ's crate--sort of the DJing version of looking in the mirror and saying "Bloody Mary" three times. Not all patrons are aware of this physics-bending aspect of DJing, but they all should be.
  • PonyPony 2,283 Posts
    DJ's love it when you dance as close as possible to the turntables because it makes the record skip, which gives the track a remix/re-edit type of sound, so yeah, make sure you jump up and down as hard as possible and feel free to bang up against the booth right in the middle of a mix.

    *Bonus Points*

    A DJ's absolute favorite thing in the world is when you reach up to the booth and try to scratch the record, it's hard work up there and DJ's really appreciate any help you can give them.
  • GnatGnat 1,183 Posts
    IMPORTANT
    When a DJ leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in both hands
    and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head securely so they
    cannot pull away. This will be taken as an invitation to a
    friendly & playful game of tug of war between their head and your hands.
    Don't give up! Hang on until the DJ submits.

    I'm really not a violent person. Really I'm not. But I might kill someone if they did this to me.
  • TheBeatGoesTheBeatGoes 711 Posts
    now w/Microwave and wireless in most clubs, you in theroy COULD download any track people want...you gotta drop at $20 in the tip jar before i'm openening up my file sharing program in the club.
  • theory9theory9 1,128 Posts
    now w/Microwave and wireless in most clubs, you in theroy COULD download any track people want...you gotta drop at $20 in the tip jar before i'm openening up my file sharing program in the club.

  • TheBeatGoesTheBeatGoes 711 Posts
    last night i had someone hold up their cell phone to request a song, as if i could hear their ring tone over the sound system
  • akoako https://soundcloud.com/a-ko 3,419 Posts
    last night i had someone hold up their cell phone to request a song, as if i could hear their ring tone over the sound system

    hahahahaha
  • DirtyHansDirtyHans 62 Posts
    Or better yet, just keep requesting it over and over again. If you do it enough, the record will magically appear in the DJ's crate--sort of the DJing version of looking in the mirror and saying "Bloody Mary" three times. Not all patrons are aware of this physics-bending aspect of DJing, but they all should be.
    A DJ's absolute favorite thing in the world is when you reach up to the booth and try to scratch the record, it's hard work up there and DJ's really appreciate any help you can give them.
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