History of Rock n Roll professor quotes
hammertime
2,389 Posts
my girlfriend got an email from a graduating senior at her alma mater with a list of quotes he had written down over his years there. Most were engineering related so I won't bore you with those, but the quotes from his History of Rock n Roll class are pretty 
HISTORY OF ROCK AND ROLL 1954-1969Professor AdamsBetter chance of me having kittens, than you finding me jogging.With Liberty and Justice for all. So sweet it makes you want to grab your gun and go out and shoot people.And doesn???t that sound groovy? You say ???No Professor Adams, that???s corny???. Ahhhhh, but not if you???re on LSD. You walk around leaving trails of acid behind you. And you can stare at a spot on the wall for hours until you feel someone tapping on your shoulder. And you turn around and it???s SATAN.You got constipation from the drugs, but if you take laxatives then you can???t leave the apartment.They had all the respect of a red-headed stepchild.Looks like she???s had about 13 kids. She???s not ugly, there???s just more of her. Took her to a dance many years ago, and she wouldn???t dance with me at all. And that???s the last time I ever dated a blonde.LSD is a very very very deadly and dangerous drug. I got 2 words for ya Brrrrriiiiiiiaaaaaaaan Willllssssson. (Beach Boy who is mentally messed up from LSD)The B.C. pill made it all possible.I always wanted to have that cornbread sound in my voice.Hippies were alcoholics and sexual predators.They held it all together which is amazing considering all the drugs they consumed.I am very serious about cheating. If I catch you cheating, I will destroy your college career and I will LOVE doing it.HISTORY OF ROCK AND ROLL 1983-PRESENTProfessor AdamsDo you identify with the cross eyed asian in the other window?Look they have an African in there. I don???t know how they did it, but they did. To their credit.They love gay people who cry in England. And you can quote me on that.[/b]The only way I could have my junk hanging out while performing would be if I was on heroine.Sounds like an aircraft coming in for a landing on a carrier and forgetting the landing gear. Yeah it???s gonna be funky. George Bush, yeah I???m that bad.Is there a gay culture? Yes, apparently so. Guys not like us, which is good. If we were all the same, there???d be no babies.I have no idea what???s on this video. But it???s a better idea than I???ve had in a long time.Now THAT is a cool hat.Back in the 60???s everyone was just obsessed with the birth control pill. People thinking, ???Wow we can do anything we want???. Man did we have outbreaks of V.D.He???s really close to a white man???s overbite.He???s the funny looking kid. The F.L.K.Merck first created Ecstasy as a diet pill. It???s 2 pills, 2 pills in one. It???s a diet pill and a hallucinogen. So you can get skinny, lose weight, and be out of your mind at the same time.Cause there???s a lot of 12 year olds out there going, ???Yeah I use heroin also???.So if you???re not worried about brain damage, go for it.So you got the magic and the libido going. And you???re all happy, and then, brain damage. Then you???re like Brrrriiiiaaaaan Willlson from the Beach Boys. ???Yeeeeeeaaaaah, I???mmm Brrrriaaan Willsssson from the Beaaaach Bbbbboys. Yeeeaaahhh. Libiiido goooing onnnn.???Frankly this is all I need. I could just sit there and watch this, drool going down my chin. I wanna see some red headed Irish girls up here, in green sweaters. Dancin??? around.Gore is superman. He is going to save us all cause we are to God danged dumb to save ourselves.These guys who are responsible for alien???s landing and rapping in the womb are from the east coast.R. Kelly married some 15 year old girl. I???m sorry, that???s a little weak. Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13 year old cousin. R. Kelly, you need to go back and try again. There are some hardcore fondlers in the church. He did a song called ???I Believe I Can Fly???. That song alone is enough to have him shot. You know the best way to use a pistol? Walk up to the person, put the pistol in their armpit. Just squeeze the trigger a bunch of times and move it around a bit.HAHA. Back THAT up!It if hadn???t been for MTV we could have aborted a lot of really bad music. It???s pretty dog gone tough if it is asexual.These dumb bells from Ohio, 98 degrees. Guys do not marry a short brunette, your life will be a living hell.Been married 37 years, my wife doesn???t even know where I am tonight. (Holds up Whitney Houston???s picture) She used to look like this, you think she does now? Ha, she???ll make a dog laugh.[/b]www.awfulplasticsurgury.com. Well at least we got to see somebody with a bad boob job. So it wasn???t a total loss.Tommy Lee gets convicted of spousal abuse against Pamela Andersen. Why you gonna get married if you can???t take a punch?[/b]We don???t need a know it all president. We got a dumbbell in the office right now and he is absolutely perfect for the job.I was gonna leave the country if Gore won. Brian Seltzer. Know he has his own guitar brand of which I can???t afford so I hate him.Dave has a perpetual cold, I don???t know if he???s allergic to Canada or what. Prince is a midge. Maybe Prince isn???t my type. I couldn???t find any Prince records and I???m kind of glad. My sister in law thinks he???s attractive. I think my sister in law is an idiot.The dermatologist should have known better, aaaand I burned his house down.Arethra could show up to a gig eating barbeque chicken in the back of a limo getting it all over herself. And when she gets out if you don???t call her Ms. Franklin, boy you???re gonna get it. She???ll whack you upside the head with a KFC bucket.I???ve done 6000 plus gigs and never once did I stand up there thinking, hrmmm this is gonna change the world. Or, this is gonna save the whales.Turn???s out he???s a gay blade.I???ve been married 37 years, I know about bondage.Doesn???t seem like I???m talking about anything does it?If you get $1000. If you???re an urban guy, you???re gonna buy rims. If you???re a redneck, you???ll buy a truck.Once you???re in a prison in Canada, you just want to get out of Canada. That???ll cure you of Canada if you haven???t already been cured.Elvis never wrote a song in his life. Great cover artist though. He could sing the phone book to you and you???d love it.The old direlect Keith Richards. Looks like he???s trying to start a chainsaw.Most people get older, they look more distinguished. Not Keith, he looks like walking death.Clay Aiken. I really think he ought to do a heavy metal album named ???Aiken for the Bacon???. Orthopedic bondage wear. There???s potential there.My wife???s going to have a cooking show sponsored by band-aid. She can???t cook anything without cutting herself. Blood all over the kitchen.I don???t like the band at all. It just doesn???t blow the wind up my kild.You play it for an hour or so, until your dog gets annoyed and asks you to leave.Clay? Are you kidding me? The guy looks like E.T.So they???ll pay $10-$15 to come watch us stand up there and struggle. It???s sick.Angus Young. He would come out in short pants and wiggle around those sickly white legs.I???m gonna buy an album with a guy in a bathing suit on t
he front? Yeah, right after I have a litter of kittens.I wanna mention these idiots, ehhh??? Motley Crue.I know a guy, has his ears pierced, 3 in one ear and???. We???d go goose him all the time. He seems to like it.Orgasmitron!Gimme a break, I had my carpets cleaned today.This is a quiz that tries to be a midterm. It???s quite easy. If you don???t get an A, well, uhhhh, then I might just give you one anyways to prevent you from looking up where I live.And you had these losers doing this, with their loser suits. Nursing a drink, A drink. And they never scored. Never.So I watched Bob Ross. Said things like, ???You can paint a nice little tree here, or anywhere, it???s your world???. He wasn???t high, but he sure was laid back.Bill Clinton, that guy could play this country like a banjo. I don???t know nothing about birthing no babies.They said he was the next Elvis Presley. It was insulting. I got so mad I beat my wife. Just had to get my frustration out somehow.Snoop looks guilty. Just look at the guy and he looks guilty of something.50 cent was all over. They were saying he???s running for the president, for vice president. He???s running for vice president and president at the same time. He???s joining the YMCA and YWCA. He???s everywhere.We could all just stare at Beethoven, standing there frowning and born with Syphillis. What did he have to smile about? We only had one serious complaint here. ???Turn it of. It???s all Satan.???I left all my homework at home. So you???re watching a man basically b.s.???ing his way through a lecture.Is there a nurse here? If so, do not resuscitate if I go down.Irish poem such as standing up and saying. That???s a fine looking sack of potatoes you got there. Getting drunk and that???s as good as Irish poetry gets. Sinead O???Conner kind of has a screaming banshee Irish in heat style.Let???s go to Mexico. You guys come up here, we???ll just go down there. You can stay up here with Hillary Clinton.You realize I???m playing this for you white folks who hate rap.I???ll bring it in and we can all take turns spitting into my mic.Sorry to all of you Baptists. I don???t mean to pick on you. But YOU know who you are.And I know this because I watch television.Fish in the Ohio? And you???ll catch a person once in a while.[/b]This is like mixing a kiddie pool with water polo.He thinks he???s the vice-president of beer.Slipknot, this is like Anglo-war music. Perfect soundtrack for napalm on a Southeast Asian island.
HISTORY OF ROCK AND ROLL 1954-1969Professor AdamsBetter chance of me having kittens, than you finding me jogging.With Liberty and Justice for all. So sweet it makes you want to grab your gun and go out and shoot people.And doesn???t that sound groovy? You say ???No Professor Adams, that???s corny???. Ahhhhh, but not if you???re on LSD. You walk around leaving trails of acid behind you. And you can stare at a spot on the wall for hours until you feel someone tapping on your shoulder. And you turn around and it???s SATAN.You got constipation from the drugs, but if you take laxatives then you can???t leave the apartment.They had all the respect of a red-headed stepchild.Looks like she???s had about 13 kids. She???s not ugly, there???s just more of her. Took her to a dance many years ago, and she wouldn???t dance with me at all. And that???s the last time I ever dated a blonde.LSD is a very very very deadly and dangerous drug. I got 2 words for ya Brrrrriiiiiiiaaaaaaaan Willllssssson. (Beach Boy who is mentally messed up from LSD)The B.C. pill made it all possible.I always wanted to have that cornbread sound in my voice.Hippies were alcoholics and sexual predators.They held it all together which is amazing considering all the drugs they consumed.I am very serious about cheating. If I catch you cheating, I will destroy your college career and I will LOVE doing it.HISTORY OF ROCK AND ROLL 1983-PRESENTProfessor AdamsDo you identify with the cross eyed asian in the other window?Look they have an African in there. I don???t know how they did it, but they did. To their credit.They love gay people who cry in England. And you can quote me on that.[/b]The only way I could have my junk hanging out while performing would be if I was on heroine.Sounds like an aircraft coming in for a landing on a carrier and forgetting the landing gear. Yeah it???s gonna be funky. George Bush, yeah I???m that bad.Is there a gay culture? Yes, apparently so. Guys not like us, which is good. If we were all the same, there???d be no babies.I have no idea what???s on this video. But it???s a better idea than I???ve had in a long time.Now THAT is a cool hat.Back in the 60???s everyone was just obsessed with the birth control pill. People thinking, ???Wow we can do anything we want???. Man did we have outbreaks of V.D.He???s really close to a white man???s overbite.He???s the funny looking kid. The F.L.K.Merck first created Ecstasy as a diet pill. It???s 2 pills, 2 pills in one. It???s a diet pill and a hallucinogen. So you can get skinny, lose weight, and be out of your mind at the same time.Cause there???s a lot of 12 year olds out there going, ???Yeah I use heroin also???.So if you???re not worried about brain damage, go for it.So you got the magic and the libido going. And you???re all happy, and then, brain damage. Then you???re like Brrrriiiiaaaaan Willlson from the Beach Boys. ???Yeeeeeeaaaaah, I???mmm Brrrriaaan Willsssson from the Beaaaach Bbbbboys. Yeeeaaahhh. Libiiido goooing onnnn.???Frankly this is all I need. I could just sit there and watch this, drool going down my chin. I wanna see some red headed Irish girls up here, in green sweaters. Dancin??? around.Gore is superman. He is going to save us all cause we are to God danged dumb to save ourselves.These guys who are responsible for alien???s landing and rapping in the womb are from the east coast.R. Kelly married some 15 year old girl. I???m sorry, that???s a little weak. Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13 year old cousin. R. Kelly, you need to go back and try again. There are some hardcore fondlers in the church. He did a song called ???I Believe I Can Fly???. That song alone is enough to have him shot. You know the best way to use a pistol? Walk up to the person, put the pistol in their armpit. Just squeeze the trigger a bunch of times and move it around a bit.HAHA. Back THAT up!It if hadn???t been for MTV we could have aborted a lot of really bad music. It???s pretty dog gone tough if it is asexual.These dumb bells from Ohio, 98 degrees. Guys do not marry a short brunette, your life will be a living hell.Been married 37 years, my wife doesn???t even know where I am tonight. (Holds up Whitney Houston???s picture) She used to look like this, you think she does now? Ha, she???ll make a dog laugh.[/b]www.awfulplasticsurgury.com. Well at least we got to see somebody with a bad boob job. So it wasn???t a total loss.Tommy Lee gets convicted of spousal abuse against Pamela Andersen. Why you gonna get married if you can???t take a punch?[/b]We don???t need a know it all president. We got a dumbbell in the office right now and he is absolutely perfect for the job.I was gonna leave the country if Gore won. Brian Seltzer. Know he has his own guitar brand of which I can???t afford so I hate him.Dave has a perpetual cold, I don???t know if he???s allergic to Canada or what. Prince is a midge. Maybe Prince isn???t my type. I couldn???t find any Prince records and I???m kind of glad. My sister in law thinks he???s attractive. I think my sister in law is an idiot.The dermatologist should have known better, aaaand I burned his house down.Arethra could show up to a gig eating barbeque chicken in the back of a limo getting it all over herself. And when she gets out if you don???t call her Ms. Franklin, boy you???re gonna get it. She???ll whack you upside the head with a KFC bucket.I???ve done 6000 plus gigs and never once did I stand up there thinking, hrmmm this is gonna change the world. Or, this is gonna save the whales.Turn???s out he???s a gay blade.I???ve been married 37 years, I know about bondage.Doesn???t seem like I???m talking about anything does it?If you get $1000. If you???re an urban guy, you???re gonna buy rims. If you???re a redneck, you???ll buy a truck.Once you???re in a prison in Canada, you just want to get out of Canada. That???ll cure you of Canada if you haven???t already been cured.Elvis never wrote a song in his life. Great cover artist though. He could sing the phone book to you and you???d love it.The old direlect Keith Richards. Looks like he???s trying to start a chainsaw.Most people get older, they look more distinguished. Not Keith, he looks like walking death.Clay Aiken. I really think he ought to do a heavy metal album named ???Aiken for the Bacon???. Orthopedic bondage wear. There???s potential there.My wife???s going to have a cooking show sponsored by band-aid. She can???t cook anything without cutting herself. Blood all over the kitchen.I don???t like the band at all. It just doesn???t blow the wind up my kild.You play it for an hour or so, until your dog gets annoyed and asks you to leave.Clay? Are you kidding me? The guy looks like E.T.So they???ll pay $10-$15 to come watch us stand up there and struggle. It???s sick.Angus Young. He would come out in short pants and wiggle around those sickly white legs.I???m gonna buy an album with a guy in a bathing suit on the front? Yeah, right after I have a litter of kittens.I wanna mention these idiots, ehhh??? Motley Crue.I know a guy, has his ears pierced, 3 in one ear and???. We???d go goose him all the time. He seems to like it.Orgasmitron!Gimme a break, I had my carpets cleaned today.This is a quiz that tries to be a midterm. It???s quite easy. If you don???t get an A, well, uhhhh, then I might just give you one anyways to prevent you from looking up where I live.And you had these losers doing this, with their loser suits. Nursing a drink, A drink. And they never scored. Never.So I watched Bob Ross. Said things like, ???You can paint a nice little tree here, or anywhere, it???s your world???. He wasn???t high, but he sure was laid back.Bill Clinton, that guy could play this country like a banjo. I don???t know nothing about birthing no babies.They said he was the next Elvis Presley. It was insulting. I got so mad I beat my wife. Just had to get my frustration out somehow.Snoop looks guilty. Just look at the guy and he looks guilty of something.50 cent was all over. They were saying he???s running for the president, for vice president. He???s running for vice president and president at the same time. He???s joining the YMCA and YWCA. He???s everywhere.We could all just stare at Beethoven, standing there frowning and born with Syphillis. What did he have to smile about? We only had one serious complaint here. ???Turn it of. It???s all Satan.???I left all my homework at home. So you???re watching a man basically b.s.???ing his way through a lecture.Is there a nurse here? If so, do not resuscitate if I go down.Irish poem such as standing up and saying. That???s a fine looking sack of potatoes you got there. Getting drunk and that???s as good as Irish poetry gets. Sinead O???Conner kind of has a screaming banshee Irish in heat style.Let???s go to Mexico. You guys come up here, we???ll just go down there. You can stay up here with Hillary Clinton.You realize I???m playing this for you white folks who hate rap.I???ll bring it in and we can all take turns spitting into my mic.Sorry to all of you Baptists. I don???t mean to pick on you. But YOU know who you are.And I know this because I watch television.Fish in the Ohio? And you???ll catch a person once in a while.[/b]This is like mixing a kiddie pool with water polo.He thinks he???s the vice-president of beer.Slipknot, this is like Anglo-war music. Perfect soundtrack for napalm on a Southeast Asian island.
Comments
Me and my friends kept one too, i have it as a word file at home...but this...wow.
I wish I took a class in college that talked about Motorhead albums.
MATRIX METHODS AND DIFFERENTIAL EQUATIONS
Dr. Murio
Josiah: Can you put in a -1 for n?
Dr. Murio: I didn???t hear that.
Josiah: Well, can???t you put in a -1 fo
Dr. Murio: NO, I MEAN, I DIDN???T HEAR THAT
If you do that, you get an F. I don???t care if you have a 99%, you haven???t learned anything.
Don???t think, don???t even think. That would take too much.
You are the bosses. I do what you tell me. Then I go home and laugh.[/b]
I understand why you don???t want to think.
I don???t understand why you don???t want to compute.
If you don???t know Gaussian elimination, don???t show up for the exam. You WON???T make it.
If you do this, I KILL YOU
I don???t want to hear you, you have trace ideas. You are so reluctant to do anything
At some point you will have to grow up and start thinking.
If you need help, then you are out of the class.
Why don???t you take 2 seconds, just 2 seconds and THINK. You answer without thinking.
Where do you think the info is coming from? It???s being barfed by the satellites.
If you do this, I KILL YOU. (Version 2)
I don???t want to have a heart attack. So just write it down and work it out. Whoever said e2, the door is open.[/b]
You cannot play this game with nuclear reactors. You cannot play this game with the space shuttle. You cannot play this game with humans.
This is calc 0, but mathematica will barf all the things.
I???ll spend 2 minutes babysitting.
Your brains are shot.
Sorry, your high school algebra stinks.
And if you don???t answer correctly, I squish your neck (make squish sound).[/b]
Do I have to do it? Ok, I do it, because you don???t see anything today.
I told you, because I don???t like you.
Here is where your problem is, you can???t do this. I kill you.
History Of The World Quotes...
1) Never trust anyone who can't spell Heroin