DJ ENKI's E-mail (damn funny)
Young_Phonics
8,039 Posts
This was one of the best things I've read on the internet in a minute. Shit like this is the reason why I haven't hit "SPAM" on dude.
Three things I saw walking to BART this morning:1) A heavily mustachioed woman. Certainly not the first time I've seen this, and being so close to Berkeley, it most assuredly won't be the last time, either, but hers was impressive--it's like she had a good Wolfman Jack going then decided to shave off the beard part. The kicker? She stops me and asks me--no bullshit--if "there's a shaving or cutlery store around." After looking around for the candid camera I was positive must've been there somewhere because this setup was just a little too perfect, I pointed out the shaving/cutlery store across the street. I didn't see any cameras, but I'm sure Allen Funt must've been posthumously behind that somehow.2) A very abusive dialogue written on a U-Haul truck. I didn't stop to read the whole thing, but from what I gather, the driver of the U-Haul nearly hit a pedestrian, and the pedestrian expressed his outrage via Sharpie on the U-Haul's white paint (lots of "I'll see you, bitch!" in there). So the driver of the U-Haul decides the best course of action is to write back and continue the conversation like the truck is some mobile bathroom stall (which I suppose, given the smell of the area, it could've been). And so this tough-guy back and forth ("I'll catch you out there!" "Fuck that, catch me right now, punk!") continued over a lot of the trim on the passenger's door. Mutually threatening dialogue written on the side of a rental truck???well, at least that's a new one.3) A couple of 14-year-old kids at a bus stop trying to holler at a 30-something businesswoman walking by. Naturally, they spit the finest game basic cable and rap fiction can teach you: "Ayyo shorty! Shorty! Yo, can I talk to you for a minute? Lemme walk with you!" Don't you just love it when people have no concept of the phrase "out of your league?"All this as I shamble 2/3 of a mile down Telegraph Avenue while trying to become fully awake. Man, I love Oakland.
Comments
Ah, public transportation.
[reynaldo]what's public transportation???[/reynaldo]
We need to put together a "You Know You're In Oakland When..." list
For me it would be "... when you see a dude walking down Market with a battle axe at 11am."
When you see a dude that looks like a well-dressed, respectful business man until you notice the monstrous shit stains on the back of his pant legs.
can this combination of words move up into regular rotation please?
Do you say mustachioed? I do.
Should we start a Carl Weathers Appreciation Society?
Or when you notice he's walking down the street smoking a Cheech & Chong-sized spliff at lunchtime, but I guess that's not necessarily unique to Oakland.
I'm just glad this sort of stuff happens to me--it takes away the pressure of having to come up with something funny to write on my own. Gotta stay out of King Mostly's spam folder!
I do hope that U-Haul is still there on my way home, though. I want to read the entire conversation.
Man I wish all these e-mails I get about parties had this mentality.
HOTTEST EVENT OF THE SUMMER.OPEN BAR.FREE.SEXY OUTDOOR PATIO.
WHY SO MUCH BLAH BLAH?
which brings me to a question I've been meaning to ask
working deejay dudes[/b]
Do you guys still do e-mail blast? I just feel now that everyone is on myspace there really isn't a need to do it anymore (plus those things are just a hassle to write).
I still do email blasts, obviously, because that's what I'm used to doing, and also, pretty much everybody on my MySpace friend list who's in a position to come to an SF gig is already included in the email blast anyway.
Carl Weathers would merk Burt Reynolds.
Winner faces Rollie Fingers?
in reality I would totally agree with this, but limiting it strictly to movie roles I still gotta go with Burt - I mean, how many times was he killed or beaten? Carl got iced in Predator, and got taken down by Rocky. Burt shot rednecks - with a bow and arrow - defeated the prison guards in football, outran the sherrif on smuggling runs - twice - and was totally badass in in Sharkey's Machine. But Carl did get Vanity.
And I don't think Carl is rocking a mustache anymore
now as for Bill Duke? Close call but Bill Duke is waaaay creepier.