Back alley knife fight (NRR)

nzshadow

get a load of this fool...(from doubleviking.com)How to Survive A Back-Alley Knife FightYou are coming home from the bar at two o???clock in the morning when you???re dumb enough to take that shortcut your girlfriend???s father???s friend told you about and boom: you are stuck in a back alley. Normally that isn???t a big problem, until you see some guy eyeing you in a funny non-heterosexual way. And he has a knife. Now what? What do you do? How do you survive? First you read this article then enter ???Attack Mode???.The most important thing to remember is to control your attacker???s knife. Every move you do should be done with that intention. Since I believe you should never be unarmed in a knife fight because I urge all of my readers to carry a pocketknife at all times I would like to introduce you to my knife. It???s quick, light and the half serrated blade is great for sawing through bone. Controlling the knife is really about controlling distance. You need to put yourself in a position where you can stab him (Or hit him with a brick if you forgot your knife) while not allowing for him to stab you. When the guy moves in you need to make a note of what hand he has the knife in. Always try to circle around so he has to reach across his body to stab you. Sometimes that scumbag might square off. If you???re wearing jeans throw a front kick into his stomach and push him back.Try to use the darkness of the alley to your advantage. Just because some guy wants to kill you doesn???t mean you can???t cut his pancreas out and sell it to a Vietnamese steak house. Use anything that???s around to distract your opponent and control the weapon. If you have a jacket or a sweatshirt take it off and use it to wrap up his knife hand. Another good technique is taken from the French who use a ???Saber and cloak??? technique where they take their cloak and wrap it around their off hand and use it to deflect oncoming sword blows. You can use your jacket or sweatshirt in a similar way. Wrap it around your hand and arm and try to disarm him with a quick punch to the wrist. An advantage of having your arm wrapped in a sweater is it???ll give you enough padding to smash through a window and grab a shard of glass. With a glass shank in one hand and a pocketknife in the other, who???s really in trouble?If you do find yourself ???mano a mano??? with control of his knife make cuts to end the fight. First you need to cut the arms so that the assclown isn???t able to fight back it. Again, this is about survival he is the one who assaulted you. If you cut the back of his arm across his triceps you will hit the brachial artery. The artery is fairly close to the skin only about a half an inch under the surface. He should loose consciousness in fifteen seconds and die in about a minute and a half. While I don???t encourage this because you will surely go to jail, a slash in that area will definitely end the fight. If you???re much shorter than he is, your options may be reduced to cutting his torso and/or legs. Stabbing his legs will keep him stationary, while giving you the option to pick him up and throw him in the dumpster or simply kicking him in the stomach. To do this you need to drop your body, don???t just reach down. Reaching down is going to leave your neck overly exposed especially if you are still struggling with him for control of his blade with the other arm. Drop to one knee and slash upward, slashing down might be easier but it also leaves you exposed. If you slash up, they???ve got to worry about not getting stabbed in the chin. Another major artery can be found near the femur, which is located in the upper portion of his/her inner thigh. Slashing the artery can result in death so be very careful with the upper inner thigh. There???s plenty of leg so there shouldn???t be a problem with that. (Can you imagine if a chick was the baddie in this situation?) Remember if at first you don???t succeed, try again, and keep slashing at his leg until he???s a bloody mess. If he tries to throw a knee clench your teeth and bare it, be a man. A knee is not going to kill you. When he???s putting his leg down to load up another one just stick your knife out and let him strike your blade. You can also spring up from your kneeling position and push him over, with your blade leading the way. Trust me when it comes to the floor or the blade most people choose the floor. Even after he falls you aren???t going to stop your motion, he???s going to get both when you disembowel him.Dictionary.com defines surviving as ???To remain alive or in existence??? and that???s really what this article is about. If you get a chance to run take it. Most people who assault others especially with weapons have done it before but very few of them have actually engaged in combat. The fact that you are standing there with a shirt wrapped around your hand, after ripping it off in a Hulk Hoganesque move, just might be enough to convince most attackers to move on the old lady down the street that???s not going to give them as much trouble. Use whatever you can find as an impromptu weapon even if you just throw it. As long as it can distract them it???ll work, so drop anything you can find in their way to slow them down. If should be ok once you reach your car, then just grab your gun and shoot them. After all you got in this mess in the first place because guns aren???t allowed in bars. Finally, knife fighting is a dirty business plain and simple. Driving cold steel into another human???s flesh and pushing with all of your strength into a major organ is not for the feint of heart, but necessary in our society.Remember, this is the way it has to be. well if it works for action movie heros it must work in real life right?...

CousinLarry

I think that was written by this guy.