Seperate Snap mursic forum?
Swayze
14,705 Posts
I'm sayin... I lurve the snap mursic.discuss
Swayze
14,705 Posts
Comments
Snap or die!!!
A few years back, at the height of the b-boy renaissance, I was really really good. They called me "The Pornado" because of my outrageous spins, and also my porn collection. The trick to it was a metal plate that I had in my head that I got from an Army injury. Some people said that was cheating, but the plate was UNDER my skin, so I say all is fair in love and war.
Anyways, I had shit locked down locally. I got respect where respect was due, but people from other towns had never heard of me. That is until one day when there was a huge b-boy festival held right here in San Diego. The shit was huge. There were b-boys from Japan and even as far away as Alabama. But because the event was still relatively "underground", the best the organizers could do was get us a highschool basketball gym to hold the contest.
The out of town crews were allowed to go first, as a courtesy. There were some really really good crews too. I didn't really have a crew, just a fat kid named Pepe (RIP) that would stand with his arms cross and glare while I busted my shit. Nobody else would fuck with me. I dont know if they were haters or what, but I didn't give a fuck because Pepe had my back, and also his dad worked at Radio Shack so we got discount D batteries for the BOX. But I'm getting sidetracked.
So the event was going on, and me and Pepe (RIP) were chillin and watching shit go down. Then it came for San Diego to represent. There were 2 SD crews besides me and Pepe (RIP). One crew was supposed to go before me, and the other crew after. I didn't even watch the first crew because I had to take a shit for good luck and do my stretching exercises. Then I heard the announcers call my name, so I wiped my ass and headed to the circle.
The room got quiet as the DJ dropped Apache for like the 50 millionth time.
I began my routine.
The room became a blur as I executed various moves with precise precision. yeah, i just said precise precision. thats how fucking precise my shit was.
The bridge on apache came.
The drums dropped.
It was time.
I flew to the ground and started spinning on my back. As I gained momentum I popped up to my head. I was spinning on my head faster than I ever had before. I don't know how the crowd was taking it. I was spinning so fast I couldn't see shit, and also my head was upside down.
Then it happened.
In my rush from the shitter to the circle I had forgotten to zip up my fly. And I was freeballing it too, because I cant split my legs good with undies on. Before I knew what was happening my balls were released. The flew from my pants like escaped hostages. My spin rate had to be close to a G.
What happened next was a disaster. the momentum of my balls caused them to rip through the crowd like ninja sword helicoptor blades. Bodies went flying everywhere. I heard a loud screech as the DJ was knocked backwards, dragging the tonearm off of his apache reish. I started to realize something was wrong and slowed my spin to a stop.
It was a nightmare. bloody bodies were everywhere. Those that managed to escape could be heard screaming in terror as they fled down the highschool hallways. It was a b-boy massacre. And there he was, my beloved Pepe (RIP) lying on the ground, dead as fuck.
From that day on I never breakdanced again, and to this day the sound of Apache gives me flashbacks. The few b-boys left in San Diego won't even make eye contact with me.
And thats just one story of how fucking huge my balls are.