sneaking reading materials into the can at work

Fatback

Nobody expects me to just fucking sit there. Right?But why do I feel like a fucking creep walking down the hall with the newspaper on my way to blow up the stall? Urrybody shits and reads. But since I'm new, I need to be discrete. Fine.How do you sneak something to read?

ray

I print out news articles from their online source.
Fold it up, put it in my pocket - no one is the wiser...

Brian

browse soulstrut on your cell phone

kitchenknight

Best thread ever...

I stick books in my waistline, under the shirt. Crosswords I fold up and carry in my pocket.

There is one dude here who just walks in all brazen with philosophy books.

Fatback

I print out news articles from their online source.
Fold it up, put it in my pocket - no one is the wiser...

That's good idea, but I hate to waste paper. Too bad I can't print them on ass-soft paper and then...you know.

white_tea

I print out news articles from their online source.
Fold it up, put it in my pocket - no one is the wiser...

That's really premeditated.

Another idea is to grab your bag or briefcase and act like you are rushing out of the office for a meeting and are in a big hurry... you just need to use the bathroom before you go. That looks sort of bad if, in fact, you aren't going anywhere.

Is it wrong to read the newspapers left in the stall by another?

grandpa_shig

reading totally distracts me from the pleasure of taking a shit. plus reading is kinda dumb.

Fatback

Is it wrong to read the newspapers left in the stall by another?

Only if it's your boss. Thank god mine's female.

kitchenknight

Is it wrong to read the newspapers left in the stall by another?

Absolutely not...I ASSUME that most people I work with don't wipe their asses with the thing. Makes my day.

Fatback

reading totally distracts me from the pleasure of taking a shit. plus reading is kinda dumb.

My colon is stictly conditioned to the feel of paper in my hands--especially newsprint.

grandpa_shig

i call my turds "demons" and get all biblical on the toilet

white_tea

i call my turds "demons" and get all biblical on the toilet

Releasing inner demons is by far my favorite "poophemism" but treating the Super Bowl as a pulpit as a way to pass the time is entirely

DOR

I'm waiting for a key to what I call the "executive" washroom. It should be here soon. Other than that, I found a place where nobody bugs me and I can play backgammon or texas holdem poker on my cell phone in private.

For you, I would think to carry it as a badge of honour and pull an Al Bundy.

bassie

I print out news articles from their online source.
Fold it up, put it in my pocket - no one is the wiser...

That's good idea, but I hate to waste paper. Too bad I can't print them on ass-soft paper and then...you know.

print on the other side of paper you're recycling/ditching - good way to save on paper in all toilet and non-toilet related matters.

JLR

Corporate bathroom reading is sooooo 2004-2005. Minutes ago I was there with my mp3 player doing number 2 to the sounds of Sun Ra "Sleeping Beauty". Cosmic, releasing experience.

Fatback

I'll try the MP3 player too. Cause sometimes I have to plug my ears.

Like if gramps (no shig) plops down in the next stall and starts spraying his medimucil all over the place.

dude. if your asshole is turning inside out, it's fucking time to retire.

ray

I print out news articles from their online source.
Fold it up, put it in my pocket - no one is the wiser...

That's good idea, but I hate to waste paper. Too bad I can't print them on ass-soft paper and then...you know.

yes, I have often considered the possibilites of an Avery 96 Bright, Ass-Soft...


In my defense, I don't read the "regular" paper anymore - so I feel like printing out a few sheets of paper is actaully better than buying an entire paper....which I would just toss when I was done anyway....plus, I can bring back the print-outs and toss them in the recycle center....

That's really premeditated.

Not really. I have a pretty fast printer (and usually a browser open to something non-work-related.)

Brian

Corporate bathroom reading is sooooo 2004-2005. Minutes ago I was there with my mp3 player doing number 2 to the sounds of Sun Ra "Sleeping Beauty". Cosmic, releasing experience.

I caught heat when I first registered cos I was talking about taking a shit and listening to Sun Ra at the same time. Now I'm posting on Soulstrut and taking a shit at the same time.

alcoholic_drink

No need to linger in the b-room. that's what i say. never bring books or magazines that you may want to keep in there with you. newspapers are the exception since you throw them out immediately.

remember that time george took the book into the bathroom at the bookstore and then he couldn't get rid of the book after they caught him? i love that sh*t.

GenePontecorvo

I call it the Walk of Pride. I put that folded up newspaper sports page under my arm, hold my head high and walk right in 'dere.

Swayze

I stick books in my waistline, under the shirt.

admittedly, this too is my philosophy... what i really miss is when i lived with my parents, and could smoke in my downstairs bathroom. now i have my own place, and don't smoke... cigarettes.

pcmr

Magic johnson youre avatar is incredibly fitting for this thread

white_tea

I stick books in my waistline, under the shirt.

admittedly, this too is my philosophy... what i really miss is when i lived with my parents, and could smoke in my downstairs bathroom. now i have my own place, and don't smoke... cigarettes.

I'd rather be seen walking into the can with the paper than seen shoving a book down my pants.

Fatback

I stick books in my waistline, under the shirt.

admittedly, this too is my philosophy... what i really miss is when i lived with my parents, and could smoke in my downstairs bathroom. now i have my own place, and don't smoke... cigarettes.

I'd rather be seen walking into the can with the paper than seen shoving a book down my pants.

For real.

And what if you got your shirt tucked in?

drewnice

I stick books in my waistline, under the shirt.

admittedly, this too is my philosophy... what i really miss is when i lived with my parents, and could smoke in my downstairs bathroom. now i have my own place, and don't smoke... cigarettes.

I'd rather be seen walking into the can with the paper than seen shoving a book down my pants.

For real.

And what if you got your shirt tucked in?

Then just make sure your pant legs are tucked into your socks.

Swayze

I stick books in my waistline, under the shirt.

admittedly, this too is my philosophy... what i really miss is when i lived with my parents, and could smoke in my downstairs bathroom. now i have my own place, and don't smoke... cigarettes.

I'd rather be seen walking into the can with the paper than seen shoving a book down my pants.

For real.

And what if you got your shirt tucked in?

unless you are in a professional environ, you would be known as a "square". t-shirt tucked into jeans, no belt?

progbeatz

I usually bring my portable and a grip of garage 45's to the can.I do get some strange looks from co-workers,but it helps drown out the grunts from my constipated co-workers.

gloom

at my place of employment we have a coffee table in the stall with magazines updated monthly by subscription, and the daily paper. clutch.

Bsides

I usually bring my portable and a grip of garage 45's to the can.I do get some strange looks from co-workers,but it helps drown out the grunts from my constipated co-workers.

this would be hilarious if I didnt sorta think you were serious. Matter fact, if you are serious is even funnier.

mandrew

at my place of employment we have a coffee table in the stall with magazines updated monthly by subscription, and the daily paper. clutch.

i have no idea where you work, but you gotta good job homie