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Hiphopsite's Best and Worst of 2005

mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
edited January 2006 in Strut Central
http://www.hiphopsite.com/NEWS/bestandworst.hhs1) I can already hear the knives being steeled to slice into their choices for "the best" of the year. "Be" = the best major label album of the year? Their "best of" list makes Okayplayer look like...Soul Strut. 2) This said, HHS's annual list is always good for a few things, such as:
DOIN' DUMB SHIT: THE 2005 RAP DARWIN AWARDS1. Mike Jones' Mobile Phone BillIt seems as if Mike Jones - the Houston rapper who shouted out his personal phone number in several of his songs, not to mention printing it on his album cover and t-shirts, didn't really look for the best mobile minutes plan before doing so. The rapper was hit with a $250,000 Sprint bill, thanks to the hundreds of thousands of hangers-on who wanted to be weird and call a celebrity that they don't know. Maybe his album should have been called "What Is Mike Jones' Phone Number?".
THE TOP FIVE BITCH MOVES OF THE YEAR1. Dave Mays Gives Lil Kim's Manager 5 Orgasms, MicsNot that we are at all surprised at The Source's backwards-ass ratings scale these days, but they delivered the shocker of the year when they awarded Lil' Kim's lousy "The Naked Truth", a perfect, 5 Mic rating. Especially considering allegedly Source owner, Dave Mays, is in bed with Kim's manager, Hillary Weston. And by "in bed", we mean "honey, you're stealing all of the covers". That's bed sheets, not magazine covers (or is it?).
and the MOST popular section:
THE TOP FIVE GAYEST RAP LYRICS OF 2005And on with the disclaimer. No, we don't have anything against homosexuals, and no, we don't think these rappers are gay, but given the fact that there is so much machismo and homophobia in hip-hop, you'd think these tough guy hetero rappers would rethink some of these lyrics before spitting them. Hmm, two for 50???.1. "Yayo, bring the condoms, I'm in room 203" - 50 Cent "Piggy Bank"There really is no getting around this one. 50 could have at least said "WE'RE in room 203'" to imply that there were some females present. Note to 50: when you're making a dis track about how all the other rappers aren't as bad-ass as you, be sure to make sure there's no accidental disses to yourself in there.2. "I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shit / go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick" - 50 Cent - "Ryder Music"Um, yeah. We don't know exactly what Fiddy was trying to say with this line, but again, quite gay. The ladies love him, and if that's not enough, apparently so do all of the men.3. "If you really want to hold me, show me, homie" - Mike Shinoda of Fort Minor - "Petrified"We feel bad for including this one, because we love the Fort Minor record, but this is all in good fun. However, it should be noted that the song is called "Petrified".4. "Lets eat and talk about all them niggaz we cut" - Lil Wayne - "The Mobb"Damn, if you are from the South, you should know that "cut" is a commonly used homonym (heh) for "fuck". That's why we found it particularly sloppy for the often shirtless Wanye to suggest to his homies that they should gather around the dinner table to reminisce on all the men they "cut". Whoops.5. "Ride solo I don't trust ya'll niggas / and if you get outta line I'll touch you niggas - Slim Thug - "The Interview"Yeah, we know, he meant "touch" like "hurt", but damn, in the interests of good old fashioned American homophobia, maybe guys like Slim Thug should consider the alternative. Or maybe he already has! (Cue "Twighlight Zone" theme).
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  Comments

  • Skip DrinkwaterSkip Drinkwater 1,694 Posts

    2. "I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shit / go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick" - 50 Cent - "Ryder Music"
    Um, yeah. We don't know exactly what Fiddy was trying to say with this line, but again, quite gay.

    did they really not get that line?


    3. "If you really want to hold me, show me, homie" - Mike Shinoda of Fort Minor - "Petrified"
    We feel bad for including this one, because we love the Fort Minor record[/b]
    lol
  • DocBeezyDocBeezy 1,918 Posts

    2. "I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shit / go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick" - 50 Cent - "Ryder Music"
    Um, yeah. We don't know exactly what Fiddy was trying to say with this line, but again, quite gay.

    did they really not get that line?

    yeah, but its still gay homie.
  • Skip DrinkwaterSkip Drinkwater 1,694 Posts

    2. "I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shit / go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick" - 50 Cent - "Ryder Music"
    Um, yeah. We don't know exactly what Fiddy was trying to say with this line, but again, quite gay.

    did they
    really not get that line?

    yeah, but its still gay homie. it's actually kinda slick
  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts
    my favorite part is the part about Slim Thug. i had just seen his shit in the Best Buy circular and was amazed at the arrogance. "Already Platinum?" come on man. he's probably making members of his family buy multiple copies so he can meet his self-imposed quota.

    i also like HHS's interesting misuse of the word "homonym." when they misuse it, they should put "(no homonym)" after it or something. if nothing else, do it for the kids.
  • noznoz 3,625 Posts
    4. "Lets eat and talk about all them niggaz we cut" - Lil Wayne - "The Mobb"
    Damn, if you are from the South, you should know that "cut" is a commonly used homonym (heh) for "fuck". That's why we found it particularly sloppy for the often shirtless Wanye to suggest to his homies that they should gather around the dinner table to reminisce on all the men they "cut". Whoops.

    they're reaching with this one.
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts

    I'm embarassed that I actually clicked on that...
  • BrianBrian 7,618 Posts
    not having lil wayne or uncle juju in any top whatever the fuck list makes them worthless
  • TheMackTheMack 3,414 Posts
    my favorite part is the part about Slim Thug. i had just seen his shit in the Best Buy circular and was amazed at the arrogance. "Already Platinum?" come on man. he's probably making members of his family buy multiple copies so he can meet his self-imposed quota.

    i also like HHS's interesting misuse of the word "homonym." when they misuse it, they should put "(no homonym)" after it or something. if nothing else, do it for the kids.
    well, Slim claims he actually sold a million copies independently of his various releases, it wasnt a reference to his album being platinum before it came out, just a reference to the amount he sold indepenently
  • jleejlee 1,539 Posts
    my favorite part is the part about Slim Thug. i had just seen his shit in the Best Buy circular and was amazed at the arrogance. "Already Platinum?" come on man. he's probably making members of his family buy multiple copies so he can meet his self-imposed quota.

    i also like HHS's interesting misuse of the word "homonym." when they misuse it, they should put "(no homonym)" after it or something. if nothing else, do it for the kids.
    well, Slim claims he actually sold a million copies independently of his various releases, it wasnt a reference to his album being platinum before it came out, just a reference to the amount he sold indepenently

    i'm too slow on my login game, but

    yeah...what said.
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts

    I'm embarassed that I actually clicked on that...

    Really? I figured their Top 10 list was pretty close to yours.
  • BrianBrian 7,618 Posts
    1. Common - "Be" - Geffen
    2. Game - "The Documentary" - Interscope
    3. Kanye West - "Late Registration" - Roc-A-Fella
    4. Little Brother - "The Minstrel Show" - Atlantic
    5. Fort Minor - "The Rising Tied" - Warner
    6. 50 Cent - "The Massacre" - Interscope
    7. Paul Wall - "The People's Champ" - Atlantic
    8. T.I. - "Urban Legend" - Atlantic
    9. DJ Z-Trip - "Shifting Gears" - Hollywood
    10. Young Jeezy - "Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101" - Def Jam

    Honorable Mentions: Lil Wayne - "The Carter 2", Bun B - "Trill", Slim Thug "Already Platinum", Beanie Sigel - "The B. Coming"
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts

    I'm embarassed that I actually clicked on that...

    Really? I figured their Top 10 list was pretty close to yours.

    Well, personally, I would have put Little Brother and Fort Minor closer to the top of the list...
  • twoplytwoply Only Built 4 Manzanita Links 2,917 Posts
    THE TOP FIVE GAYEST RAP LYRICS OF 2005



    And on with the disclaimer. No, we don't have anything against homosexuals, and no, we don't think these rappers are gay, but given the fact that there is so much machismo and homophobia in hip-hop, you'd think these tough guy hetero rappers would rethink some of these lyrics before spitting them. Hmm, two for 50???.



    1. "Yayo, bring the condoms, I'm in room 203" - 50 Cent "Piggy Bank"

    There really is no getting around this one. 50 could have at least said "WE'RE in room 203'" to imply that there were some females present. Note to 50: when you're making a dis track about how all the other rappers aren't as bad-ass as you, be sure to make sure there's no accidental disses to yourself in there.



    2. "I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shit / go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick" - 50 Cent - "Ryder Music"

    Um, yeah. We don't know exactly what Fiddy was trying to say with this line, but again, quite gay. The ladies love him, and if that's not enough, apparently so do all of the men.



    3. "If you really want to hold me, show me, homie" - Mike Shinoda of Fort Minor - "Petrified"

    We feel bad for including this one, because we love the Fort Minor record, but this is all in good fun. However, it should be noted that the song is called "Petrified".



    4. "Lets eat and talk about all them niggaz we cut" - Lil Wayne - "The Mobb"

    Damn, if you are from the South, you should know that "cut" is a commonly used homonym (heh) for "fuck". That's why we found it particularly sloppy for the often shirtless Wanye to suggest to his homies that they should gather around the dinner table to reminisce on all the men they "cut". Whoops.



    5. "Ride solo I don't trust ya'll niggas / and if you get outta line I'll touch you niggas - Slim Thug - "The Interview"

    Yeah, we know, he meant "touch" like "hurt", but damn, in the interests of good old fashioned American homophobia, maybe guys like Slim Thug should consider the alternative. Or maybe he already has! (Cue "Twighlight Zone" theme).





    I think the Game's (misheard) lyric, "... and I'm the mother-fuckin' gay man," should at least get an honorable mention.
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    I have to say, with the exception of the first example of the "gayest lines" list, either 2005 was mad weak for unintentional AYO statements or else, HHS needs to step up their listening game better. Most of their picks were kind of "eh" on that tip which is surprising since they usually are killing shit with it.
  • numericnumeric 152 Posts
    That Blackalicious was terrible.....

    I used to love her.....

    Both the Gift of Gab record and that shit were laughable....... Gab got my $30 ......thats it tho.....done.
  • Skip DrinkwaterSkip Drinkwater 1,694 Posts
    THE TOP FIVE MAJOR LABEL MC'S OF THE YEAR
    2. Phonte (Little Brother)
    Phonte Coleman's progress over time has been damn near scary. In just over a couple of years, and now the release of "The Minstrel Show", Phonte catapulted himself to the upper echelon of emcees, with an absolute stellar outing. Combing sharp wit, a solid flow, brutal honesty and great intellect, Phonte is one of the best yet. And don't front on his vocal chops either - all hail Percy Miracles!
  • d_wordd_word 666 Posts
    My top tens this year look real different from hiphopsite's, but I'll say at least they are picking tracks from different genres of rap.

    This year I've seen so many salty motherfuckers that only like one type of rap music trying to be the authority on what's good with everything. I think y'all know what I'm getting at - at least these dudes are tryin to listen.

    Fort Minor surprised me though. Really? I guess I'mma be open minded enough to try out another track, but I thought that single was boring. Who here's gonna step up and say they like that?

  • BrianBrian 7,618 Posts
    Fort Minor surprised me though. Really? I guess I'mma be open minded enough to try out another track, but I thought that single was boring. Who here's gonna step up and say they like that?

    I was forced to listen to that shit in a friend's car and the whole album is hot garbage.
  • BeatSyentistBeatSyentist 54 Posts

    HIP-HOP MILESTONES OF 2005

    1. Jay-Z & Nas Perform Live On Stage Together


    This should be added to the top 5 bitch moves of the year
  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,475 Posts
    Fort Minor surprised me though. Really? I guess I'mma be open minded enough to try out another track, but I thought that single was boring. Who here's gonna step up and say they like that?

    I was forced to listen to that shit in a friend's car and the whole album is hot garbage.

    And that Green Lantern mixtape of it that HHS was big-upping is so awful, I think it gave me cancer.
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts
    Fort Minor surprised me though. Really? I guess I'mma be open minded enough to try out another track, but I thought that single was boring. Who here's gonna step up and say they like that?

    I was forced to listen to that shit in a friend's car and the whole album is hot garbage.

    And that Green Lantern mixtape of it that HHS was big-upping is so awful, I think it gave me cancer.

    Calling the board's resident nu-metal apologist and rap/rock enthusiast...
  • DirtyBeatGuyDirtyBeatGuy 297 Posts
    Benzino: More Fun Than A Barrel of Slut-Monkeys
    Yet another publication talked bad about The Source, but for some reason this particular one really pissed Benzino off. Maybe dude was on the rag, but he totally flipped on editor of Ozone Magazine's (Julia Beverly) voicemail. Mind you that Beverly is a pretty small, nerdy looking white chick, one who Zno went off on like she was a dude. Aside from telling the "cracker" he'd "spit in her face", he suggested other colorful euphemisms that might work as good evidence in the pending sexual harrassment suit with Kim Osario. While Benzino thought this was a pretty private voicemail, Ozone Magazine put the audio on their website for all to hear - Benzino's cel phone number included (Mike Jones!). Taking it to a whole new level, Funkmaster Flex then broadcasted the message multiple times on Hot 97 radio, calling him "disgusting". Who's the "Slut Monkey" now?

    How this complete ass clown of a human manages to still get mentioned anywhere is beyond me. I had no idea he was still alive. What a bummer.
  • noznoz 3,625 Posts
    Calling the board's resident nu-metal apologist and rap/rock enthusiast...

    i don't even think i can jokingly ride for that terd.
  • djannadjanna 1,543 Posts
    Three Planet Asia albums in 2006! Now that IS a reason to live.
















  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts
    my favorite part is the part about Slim Thug. i had just seen his shit in the Best Buy circular and was amazed at the arrogance. "Already Platinum?" come on man. he's probably making members of his family buy multiple copies so he can meet his self-imposed quota.

    i also like HHS's interesting misuse of the word "homonym." when they misuse it, they should put "(no homonym)" after it or something. if nothing else, do it for the kids.
    well, Slim claims he actually sold a million copies independently of his various releases, it wasnt a reference to his album being platinum before it came out, just a reference to the amount he sold indepenently

    oh, of course. how silly of me. how dare I slight such a talent.
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    They also missed this doubly-lame ayo-rific entendre from Ali in "Grillz":

    "Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hilary Rodham."


    First off...


    Second, who brags about their grill costing a hundred dollars?
  • DocBeezyDocBeezy 1,918 Posts
    They also missed this doubly-lame ayo-rific entendre from Ali in "Grillz":

    "Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hilary Rodham."


    First off...


    Second, who brags about their grill costing a hundred dollars?

    that shit had me rollin!
  • jsmooth995jsmooth995 11 Posts
    HAHA.. That Mike Jones phone bill thing never happened, it was an April Fools Day joke. sohh.com made it up based on the Mike Jones interview I did for them..



    EDIT: My bad, I guess Mike came out later and claimed the joke was close to the truth: http://www.allhiphop.com/hiphopnews/?ID=4320
  • DocBeezyDocBeezy 1,918 Posts
    HAHA.. That Mike Jones phone bill thing never happened, it was an April Fools Day joke.

    sohh.com made it up based on the Mike Jones interview I did for them..

    that is even better!
  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    They also missed this doubly-lame ayo-rific entendre from Ali in "Grillz":

    "Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hilary Rodham."


    First off...


    Second, who brags about their grill costing a hundred dollars?

    yeah but paw waw's "call me george foreman, I'm sellin everyone grillz" line is one of the best punches of the year. (and the only good thing about that track)
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