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Help me with my phone machine message

hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
edited October 2005 in Strut Central
OK, so I just moved to a new city + I have no friends = no one calls me. But really, that I don't mind. What I do mind is all the people who call for Audra & the Nicholson's. Audra musta been some popular kinda bitch cause she gets hella calls. So, I thought (light goes on) I'll leave a message to get rid of these people:

...hi, this is J*** & A***. If you are calling for Audra, or the Nicholsons, they're dead....

*erie silence*

The girlfriend called from work & heard it & she no happy. "YOU ARE GOING TO SCARE PEOPLE!!![/b] she said.

I need a less disturbing message that will still address the Audra situation.

Thanks!

  Comments

  • mylatencymylatency 10,475 Posts
    "Hi, this is J*** & A***. If you are calling for Audra, or the Nicholsons, they have moved and here is their new number __________. Otherwise, leave a message for us, thanks!"


    "Hi, this is J*** & A***. If you are calling for Audra, or the Nicholsons, I'm sorry but I don't have their new numbers. Otherwise, leave a message for us, thanks!"
  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    "Hi, this is J*** & A***. If you are calling for Audra, or the Nicholsons, they have moved and here is their new number __________. Otherwise, leave a message for us, thanks!"


    "Hi, this is J*** & A***. If you are calling for Audra, or the Nicholsons, I'm sorry but I don't have their new numbers. Otherwise, leave a message for us, thanks!"

    That's no fun.

    How about something that involves a plague, or a swarm of something?
  • the3rdstreamthe3rdstream 1,980 Posts
    "you have reached the pleasure dome please to leave a message"
  • Imperial_MaoImperial_Mao 1,119 Posts





    Just leave it as it is I think that shits funny!!!

    Then if you get some "interesting" replies you could mp3 em here...
  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts


    Then if you get some "interesting" replies you could mp3 em here...

    I was hoping for such.
  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    "you have reached the pleasure dome please to leave a message"

    I wonder if I could get to record that?
  • the3rdstreamthe3rdstream 1,980 Posts
    "you have reached the pleasure dome please to leave a message"

    I wonder if I could get to record that?

    naw man then you gotta get him to do "jeff and a____ just made a run for the border, please leave a message"
  • parsecparsec 5,087 Posts
    put a 30 second esp disk free jazz clip on your machine, with you screaming in the background.
  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    "you have reached the pleasure dome please to leave a message"

    I wonder if I could get to record that?

    naw man then you gotta get him to do "jeff and a____ just made a run for the border, please leave a message"



    holy chalupa!
  • the3rdstreamthe3rdstream 1,980 Posts


    holy chalupa!

    might have to pay again to get title changed
  • canonicalcanonical 2,100 Posts
    Don't leave rap interludes on the answering machine. My old girlfriend did that and her grandma thought that crack heads kidnapped her grand-daughter and caused some real family trauma. No joke. Or maybe you want that.
  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?
  • funky16cornersfunky16corners 7,175 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?

    Cpuld be a problem, especially if the people looking for her want to kill her or something...
  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?

    Cpuld be a problem, especially if the people looking for her want to kill her or something...

    ohhhh.... good point.

    This old woman who called for her (Audra) just started talking to me one day. Started telling me about having cancer. It was freaky.
  • DocBeezyDocBeezy 1,918 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?

    ethics shmethics
  • funky16cornersfunky16corners 7,175 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?

    Cpuld be a problem, especially if the people looking for her want to kill her or something...

    ohhhh.... good point.

    This old woman who called for her (Audra) just started talking to me one day. Started telling me about having cancer. It was freaky.

    There's an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine keeps getting calls for an old lady that used to have her phone number, and to make them stop, she tells the kid calling that "Grammy" just died. A few minutes later the fire dept breaks down her door "Don't worry Grammy, we're here to help."
  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?

    Cpuld be a problem, especially if the people looking for her want to kill her or something...

    ohhhh.... good point.

    This old woman who called for her (Audra) just started talking to me one day. Started telling me about having cancer. It was freaky.

    There's an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine keeps getting calls for an old lady that used to have her phone number, and to make them stop, she tells the kid calling that "Grammy" just died. A few minutes later the fire dept breaks down her door "Don't worry Grammy, we're here to help."

    haha! see - this is exactly the kind of advice I'm in the market for! Thanks!
  • Secret_ChimpSecret_Chimp 915 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?

    Haha, here you go: "Hi, this is Audronicus! The surgery was a success! I'm doing fine and the hormones are really starting to take effect now. Please leave a message!! "
  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?

    Haha, here you go: "Hi, this is Audronicus! The surgery was a success! I'm doing fine and the hormones are really starting to take effect now. Please leave a message!! "

    This is def the frontrunner now.
  • flatblackplasticflatblackplastic 1,209 Posts
    OK, so I just moved to a new city + I have no friends = no one calls me. But really, that I don't mind. What I do mind is all the people who call for Audra & the Nicholson's. Audra musta been some popular kinda bitch cause she gets hella calls. So, I thought (light goes on) I'll leave a message to get rid of these people:

    ...hi, this is J*** & A***. If you are calling for Audra, or the Nicholsons, they're dead....

    *erie silence*

    The girlfriend called from work & heard it & she no happy. "YOU ARE GOING TO SCARE PEOPLE!!![/b] she said.

    I need a less disturbing message that will still address the Audra situation.

    Thanks!

    that is hilarious crink!
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    A***? why you 2 timing sonofabitch!










  • GrafwritahGrafwritah 4,184 Posts
    "Hi, this is J*** & A***. If you are calling for Audra, or the Nicholsons, they have moved and here is their new number __________. Otherwise, leave a message for us, thanks!"


    "Hi, this is J*** & A***. If you are calling for Audra, or the Nicholsons, I'm sorry but I don't have their new numbers. Otherwise, leave a message for us, thanks!"

    Such a nerd.
  • GrafwritahGrafwritah 4,184 Posts
    What would the ethical ramifications of me just pretending to be Audra be?

    Cpuld be a problem, especially if the people looking for her want to kill her or something...

    ohhhh.... good point.

    This old woman who called for her (Audra) just started talking to me one day. Started telling me about having cancer. It was freaky.

    No it's not, your addresses won't match. So say whatever you want. They're just show up at Audra's old spot. Those are the people who need to worry.
  • GrafwritahGrafwritah 4,184 Posts
    Get your girlfriend to start doing a regular message pretending to be Audra, then, halfway through it, scream and wrestle with her and have her scream and then start humping. Eventually the machine will cut off and people will be really scared.

    Then the police will go to Audra's old ADDRESS and knock down the door. Yes!
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