Being about 11 when Star Wars was originally released (and therefore well past the age when someone could watch this ludicrous hokum BS without laughing or gagging), I managed to avoid it until peer pressure from my kids' playground meant sitting through it in order to help them engage on a 'universally shared cultural phenomenon' tip.
Well, apart from incredulity at the thought of grown-ass dudes continuing to lap up this preposterous tosh, it dawned on me the barely concealed allusion contained therein.
Consider this:
Han Solo: Hand solo. Nuff said.
Jabba the Hutt - no doubt 'jab hut' being a euphemism for public toilets of the George Michael variety.
Princess Lay-Her
A camp robot in gold lame - British, natch.
R2D2 - a giant butt-plug on wheels
Chewbacca - the big, hairy cuddly Teddy Bear figure
That scene where Luke and them are shooting their spermy little missiles into the giant Deathstar ovary
Gangs of uniformed men stomping around what looks suspiciously like a futuristic gay disco
STAR WARS = ARS WARTS
OBI WAN KENOBI = BONI KNOB AWE
Come on ppl help me out here, this shit doesn't write itself
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
I'd rather take a spiked belt sander to the face than ever watch those 3 new episodes ever again.
No doubt Lucas is at this very moment penning a new scene where some robed desert dwarf is welding such a contraption to a robot's groin and then having him 'enter a dark cave'.
Lucas definitely lost his mind somewhere along the way. Last year a very good friend of mine was hired at LucasArts in SF - he was a huge SW fan and great videogame designer. Was tasked with creating a proper SW first person shooter that adhered to the true spirit of star wars, a 4 year project with 50+ people on his team under him. 1st meeting he had with George to pitch the (meticulously and carefully crafted) plan, George is buzzed on vodka and only wants to talk about how to bring Darth Maul back from the dead. Saying he didnt really die down in the pit and he will return with a metal spider lower body. Also he has a mom!!! W T F . 100% TRUTH. (check the next lucas arts release - you will see these asinine things!!) After a few more non productive meetings, my friend, pretty much the biggest SW fan of all time, QUIT LucasArts - he knew whatever he tried to do would be ruined - by George's idiotic ideas. Sad.
Normally, legacies are raped after the creator has passed. Like, Kenny G's take on Louis Armstrong or whatever it was that made Pat Metheny burn with rage.
In this case, it's the creator himself that is raping his own legacy.
:post_modern:
Serious, I was like "Batha Tracks" into the OGs, but the CGI fests? I honestly can't remember what scenes are from which movie - I rely on #1 son and his grasp of the Wii Lego product range to guide my aged and frankly saddened mind through the snoozefest of astropolitics.
I am waiting for him to ask why Yoda couldn't destroy the Death Star using the Force... Something something dark-side?
Lucas definitely lost his mind somewhere along the way. Last year a very good friend of mine was hired at LucasArts in SF - he was a huge SW fan and great videogame designer. Was tasked with creating a proper SW first person shooter that adhered to the true spirit of star wars, a 4 year project with 50+ people on his team under him. 1st meeting he had with George to pitch the (meticulously and carefully crafted) plan, George is buzzed on vodka and only wants to talk about how to bring Darth Maul back from the dead. Saying he didnt really die down in the pit and he will return with a metal spider lower body. Also he has a mom!!! W T F . 100% TRUTH. (check the next lucas arts release - you will see these asinine things!!) After a few more non productive meetings, my friend, pretty much the biggest SW fan of all time, QUIT LucasArts - he knew whatever he tried to do would be ruined - by George's idiotic ideas. Sad.
Wow, that's crazy. The folks I know at LA fucking love it there. I worked on Star Wars Insider magazine for a while (LA contracts out the editing/design/production of the mag), and afterward, I asked my friend, the Editor in Chief of the mag, about getting a job at LA. He told me there's practically no job turnover because everybody's so stoked to be there, Lucas treats his employees great, all that. "Nobody ever quits, so you pretty much have to wait for people to either retire or die" was the line that stuck out to me. Sad to hear Lucas has gone that far off the rails and fucked up his own company.
They have managed to enlist new generations of kids with video games, cartoons, and the remixes.
I find that he has poisoned the generation that built the Star Wars mythos by shitting on them.
This summer my buddy asked me to play Darth Vader for his kids birthday party.
Even if little man had the time of his life, i really doubt he is going to have the same enthusiasm for Star Wars when he gets older as my buddy and I.
I just dont see it translating like a 100 year sports franchise. Sports teams are built on glorifying its past.
Lucas says the past doesnt matter.
Lucas definitely lost his mind somewhere along the way. Last year a very good friend of mine was hired at LucasArts in SF - he was a huge SW fan and great videogame designer. Was tasked with creating a proper SW first person shooter that adhered to the true spirit of star wars, a 4 year project with 50+ people on his team under him. 1st meeting he had with George to pitch the (meticulously and carefully crafted) plan, George is buzzed on vodka and only wants to talk about how to bring Darth Maul back from the dead. Saying he didnt really die down in the pit and he will return with a metal spider lower body. Also he has a mom!!! W T F . 100% TRUTH. (check the next lucas arts release - you will see these asinine things!!) After a few more non productive meetings, my friend, pretty much the biggest SW fan of all time, QUIT LucasArts - he knew whatever he tried to do would be ruined - by George's idiotic ideas. Sad.
Wow, that's crazy. The folks I know at LA fucking love it there. I worked on Star Wars Insider magazine for a while (LA contracts out the editing/desing/production of the mag), and afterward, I asked my friend, the Editor in Chief of the mag, about getting a job at LA. He told me there's practically no job turnover because everybody's so stoked to be there, Lucas treats his employees great, all that. "Nobody ever quits, so you pretty much have to wait for people to either retire or die" was the line that stuck out to me. Sad to hear Lucas has gone that far off the rails and fucked up his own company.
its an AMAZING place to work, dont get me wrong - before he realized the problems, my buddy gave me the tour, and holy shit. I can see why, under normal circumstances, youd never ever want to quit. the campus is unfuckingbelievable, and you are surrounded by the artifacts of the past. (saw the han in carbonite prop, hans gun, leias gun (yes, the real ones), tons of matte paintings, stuff from ghostbusters, indy jones, back to the future, ET... etc unreal - not to mention Lucas' priceless vintage movie poster collection from around the world - him and Spielberg compete at that, amongst everything else). I imagine at most levels, youd never meet or realize the problems at the top level - and why would you care, theres 5 star chefs in the company cafeteria. But my friend's position was one where he had to meet the man, and get approvals, and what he saw soured him badly - as a true fan of the original stuff, he couldnt believe the depths of creative half-assedry. he couldnt fathom putting up with the compromises and frustration he knew was coming. I say good for him.
Lucas definitely lost his mind somewhere along the way. Last year a very good friend of mine was hired at LucasArts in SF - he was a huge SW fan and great videogame designer. Was tasked with creating a proper SW first person shooter that adhered to the true spirit of star wars, a 4 year project with 50+ people on his team under him. 1st meeting he had with George to pitch the (meticulously and carefully crafted) plan, George is buzzed on vodka and only wants to talk about how to bring Darth Maul back from the dead. Saying he didnt really die down in the pit and he will return with a metal spider lower body. Also he has a mom!!! W T F . 100% TRUTH. (check the next lucas arts release - you will see these asinine things!!) After a few more non productive meetings, my friend, pretty much the biggest SW fan of all time, QUIT LucasArts - he knew whatever he tried to do would be ruined - by George's idiotic ideas. Sad.
Wow, that's crazy. The folks I know at LA fucking love it there. I worked on Star Wars Insider magazine for a while (LA contracts out the editing/desing/production of the mag), and afterward, I asked my friend, the Editor in Chief of the mag, about getting a job at LA. He told me there's practically no job turnover because everybody's so stoked to be there, Lucas treats his employees great, all that. "Nobody ever quits, so you pretty much have to wait for people to either retire or die" was the line that stuck out to me. Sad to hear Lucas has gone that far off the rails and fucked up his own company.
and get approvals,
Oh man, getting approvals was by far the worst part of working on the magazine. Every little thing had to get approved, every tiny change you wanted to make, and it was hell getting sign-offs from all the people who needed to sign off (because it wasn't always the same person). Being on a monthly publishing cycle, we didn't have a whole lot of time to dither around waiting for approvals, and that shit always came down to the 11th hour and made us extremely nervous every month as to whether or not we were going to get the mag proofs off to the printer in time. I'm just glad I'm not the one who actually had to hunt down the approvals...that would've driven me batshit crazy, no doubt.
Comments
Well, apart from incredulity at the thought of grown-ass dudes continuing to lap up this preposterous tosh, it dawned on me the barely concealed allusion contained therein.
Consider this:
Han Solo: Hand solo. Nuff said.
Jabba the Hutt - no doubt 'jab hut' being a euphemism for public toilets of the George Michael variety.
Princess Lay-Her
A camp robot in gold lame - British, natch.
R2D2 - a giant butt-plug on wheels
Chewbacca - the big, hairy cuddly Teddy Bear figure
That scene where Luke and them are shooting their spermy little missiles into the giant Deathstar ovary
Gangs of uniformed men stomping around what looks suspiciously like a futuristic gay disco
STAR WARS = ARS WARTS
OBI WAN KENOBI = BONI KNOB AWE
Come on ppl help me out here, this shit doesn't write itself
Shit's depraved.
its called comics,books and videogames.
just like boba fett getting out of the sarlacc.
In this case, it's the creator himself that is raping his own legacy.
:post_modern:
Serious, I was like "Batha Tracks" into the OGs, but the CGI fests? I honestly can't remember what scenes are from which movie - I rely on #1 son and his grasp of the Wii Lego product range to guide my aged and frankly saddened mind through the snoozefest of astropolitics.
I am waiting for him to ask why Yoda couldn't destroy the Death Star using the Force... Something something dark-side?
Wow, that's crazy. The folks I know at LA fucking love it there. I worked on Star Wars Insider magazine for a while (LA contracts out the editing/design/production of the mag), and afterward, I asked my friend, the Editor in Chief of the mag, about getting a job at LA. He told me there's practically no job turnover because everybody's so stoked to be there, Lucas treats his employees great, all that. "Nobody ever quits, so you pretty much have to wait for people to either retire or die" was the line that stuck out to me. Sad to hear Lucas has gone that far off the rails and fucked up his own company.
They have managed to enlist new generations of kids with video games, cartoons, and the remixes.
I find that he has poisoned the generation that built the Star Wars mythos by shitting on them.
This summer my buddy asked me to play Darth Vader for his kids birthday party.
Even if little man had the time of his life, i really doubt he is going to have the same enthusiasm for Star Wars when he gets older as my buddy and I.
I just dont see it translating like a 100 year sports franchise. Sports teams are built on glorifying its past.
Lucas says the past doesnt matter.
its an AMAZING place to work, dont get me wrong - before he realized the problems, my buddy gave me the tour, and holy shit. I can see why, under normal circumstances, youd never ever want to quit. the campus is unfuckingbelievable, and you are surrounded by the artifacts of the past. (saw the han in carbonite prop, hans gun, leias gun (yes, the real ones), tons of matte paintings, stuff from ghostbusters, indy jones, back to the future, ET... etc unreal - not to mention Lucas' priceless vintage movie poster collection from around the world - him and Spielberg compete at that, amongst everything else). I imagine at most levels, youd never meet or realize the problems at the top level - and why would you care, theres 5 star chefs in the company cafeteria. But my friend's position was one where he had to meet the man, and get approvals, and what he saw soured him badly - as a true fan of the original stuff, he couldnt believe the depths of creative half-assedry. he couldnt fathom putting up with the compromises and frustration he knew was coming. I say good for him.
Oh man, getting approvals was by far the worst part of working on the magazine. Every little thing had to get approved, every tiny change you wanted to make, and it was hell getting sign-offs from all the people who needed to sign off (because it wasn't always the same person). Being on a monthly publishing cycle, we didn't have a whole lot of time to dither around waiting for approvals, and that shit always came down to the 11th hour and made us extremely nervous every month as to whether or not we were going to get the mag proofs off to the printer in time. I'm just glad I'm not the one who actually had to hunt down the approvals...that would've driven me batshit crazy, no doubt.
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