Meetings at work
JLR
3,835 Posts
One more time, let's share the pain. I'm having problems to behave in meetings. Like I'm having zero tolerance for bullshit.Yesterday's meeting: there was this Director of I don't know what that said 5 TIMES in an hour long meeting: "The apple is gonna fall, it's up to us to grab it or let someone else do it". All of this with Yoda face. WTF?!!!!!!!! I mean, if you have nothing to say then don't say anything. Don't come here with some metaphor shit. I have more to share. Let's trade bullshit. Like
Comments
"WE'VE DISCUSSED THIS BEFORE"
I pretty much steer clear of anyone who says this too much.
The dude would also give crazy, pointless lecture/stories about his life/history as a swimmer, athlete, lifeguard, and coach. All during meetings. Actually, he stopped having weekly meetings and the company um imploded. I got out while I could.
Gotta have respect to give it, yadadamean?
Do you have a redheaded bbw recptionist with a plantronix that annoyingly chimes "just a moment"
lol
RED STAPLERS: COST $15 MORE THEN REGULAR STAPLERS. NOT COOL IN THE EXPENSE BOOK.
GIT IRRRR DUNNNN!!!!!!!!
How awesome. Do they wear cowboy hats? Saying Git 'ir dun at work is so not PC, it's rad.
Okay kiddies, gotta jet. Time to put on the dress socks and dress shoes.
I REALLY LUH DIS GAME.
AWESOME!
Did he say "fukers" when he asked you? Do you have meetings in Spanish or English? Just curious.
no, mostly in spanish, I just translated for SS purposes.
No, but I always have to listen to people say shit like
"We'll have to connect with organizations in this space to ensure we are in lockstep in terms of our overarching global strategy going forward."
I hear less of this now that our old VP of sales left.. Dude's corprate garbage speak was
dudes here are saying sh*t like NASA space cadets "Mission critical" . I want to smack a b*tch when I hear that.
Ugh.
The director of marketing at one of my old jobs used to say, "We have to go after the low-hanging fruit." To me, "low-hanging fruit" [la que cuelga m??s bajo] is a problem solved by switching from briefs to boxers, not a marketing strategy.
Nobody got the reference.
The bossman was not amused.
The current vogue term is USP - Unique Selling Point.
I had an epiphany in a particularly dull meeting at a previous company and stood up, requesting to leave. When asked why I explained how the discussion being carried out was pointless and a waste of company time and that it'd be far more useful to go away, think about what was needed, and start over again with an actual agenda.
Seemed like a wonderful idea until I actually said it. I walked out of the boardroom to the sound of silence and an overwhelming refusal by all present to make eye contact. Not my finest moment.
how can I forget this one "No worries" . You dont know how much this boils my sh*t when it comes from some docker wearing, Bloomberg using, money sucking bast*rd from CT.
Alphabet Soup!
I was at the 3GSM conference in Barcelona last week and it was alphabet soup central. So annoying. Just say the fucking words you're trying to say! It's not a fucking text message... you won't strain yourself.
IKSRFO
Had to look that one up... classic
"I'm Knocking Somebody Right da Fuck Out!"(IKSRFO) - From Redman
Person 1: "IKSRFO!"
Person 2: "What the fuck does that mean?"
Person 1: "ImKnockinSomebodyRightdaFuckOut, YOU!" (SMACK)
Now can you find NASWIPP.
J.O.E.
One of the best dialogue sequences in the show's history.
Marketing manager: We're talking the original dog from hell!!
Writer: You mean Cerberus?
...
Writer: A dog? Isn't that a tad predictable?
Other writer: Yeah, I mean, I don't want to sound pretentious, but Itchy & Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad
LOLZ4DAYZ
My old boss said the above statement at least once I week, usually right before asking me or someone else to do something incredibly annoying.
"No worries."
I hear this multiple times each day at the moment...
now you suffer