Siri and the "N" word, and other stories

I was listening to U-God's autobiography on Audible. It's called "RAW: My journey into the Wu-Tang Clan".  It is read by him, and it's not a bad way to kill the commute, especially if you are a Wu-Tang fan but not necessarily a U-God fan.  As he talks about recording some of the songs he was on of course you will want to go back and listen to them. So he gets to the part about recording "Killa Hill Niggas" with Cypres Hill.  I only vaguely remembered it from the 90s and wanted to hear it again.  But I'm driving. I have apple car play, so all I have to do is press a button on my steering wheel and ask Siri to play it.  

I'm in the car by myself.  

Just me and Siri.  

And I realize, I don't feel comfortable asking Siri to play Killa Hill Niggaz. Now I love that old school hip hop and I love to rap along, and there is always that conundrum of singing along to your favorite songs when you (as a 43 year old white man) get to that dreaded N-word.  Well I just replace it with "Neighbors".  It works. Try it, you might like it. But that is not going to work with Siri.  She needs to hear it or she will not understand.

So I press the button and say as clearly as possible "Play Killa Hill Niggas on Spotify"... and I'm on the edge of my seat, because Siri will repeat commands back to you to make sure you know she got it.  So she says "Playing KILLER HILL NIG-GERS on Spotify." 

HOLY SHIT. Siri just said "Niggers".  I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. But in that weird computer way you could tell that the lady who recorded the Siri voice didn't actually record the word.  They took the sounds of "NIG" and "GERS" and somehow spliced them together.  It makes sense. That lady couldn't have possibly recorded every word in the dictionary so they need a way for her to say words that weren't recorded. And I'm sure that long list of words didn't have that particular one on it. You can't help but wonder what the Siri lady's reaction would be if she heard it.

So there it is. I made Siri say the N-word. 
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Changing topics, I know somebody in the Navy who is allergic to her uniform.  I saw her yesterday at work wearing jeans and and comfy shirt and so I said "oh, is today civilian-clothes-wednesday?" and I was kidding but she said "I'm allergic to my uniform." I said WHAT? She said she developed a bizarre reaction to formaldahyde after her second daughter was born a few months ago and that formaldahyde is in synthetic materials like polyesters, so when she wears her uniform she gets rashes all over her body.  Doctor verified it and everything.  So I asked her, "How do you 'be in the navy' when you can't wear a uniform?"

Turns out she was planning to get out in August anyways, but until then the CO has allowed her to wear civilian clothes.  Except when she is the officer on duty (which she happens to be today), and in that case she has to wear the uniform and just deal with the rashes that will break out.

So there it is.  I know somebody in the Navy who is allergic to her uniform.

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Kangaroos have 3 vaginas.  Well the female ones do anyways.  Google it.

  Comments


  • JimsterJimster Twilight Zone/ Al Capone/ Rolling Stone/ Eva Perón 6,291 Posts

  • ElectrodeElectrode Los Angeles 2,674 Posts
    Funny shit. I have to try that with my mother's Alexa. 

    Update: Nope, she doesn't go for that. Gives me the silent treatment. And I tried well known ones like "Ain't No" and "Shame On A".





  • billbradleybillbradley You want BBQ sauce? Get the fuck out of my house. 2,574 Posts

  • Can't she just like, wear some climacool techwool merinosync bodybioheat polyfitclingtemp moisturewickgrip layer underneath the uniform itself?

    b/w

    I picked up "neighbor" from an SS thread, I think... I don't rap along to much so it's in limited use, but the problem with "neighbor" is how I say it always reminds me of Juicy J Who The Neighbors... Kobe Bryant from the Lakers, now that's paper... and then I don't remember the song I originally had in my head because Who The Neighbors has the catchiest chorus ever.
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