how do you deal with assholes?
pjl2000xl
1,795 Posts
At every gig i play it never fails that i get some asshole that comes up and tells me i suck because im not playing posion or fergie. How do you guys deal with this? I usually smile and grit my teeth and nicely tell them that i might get to it later or i didnt pack it with me. Tonight was horrible. This 50 year women of somewhat a professional background came up to me when i was playing stevie wonders superstition and asked "when are you going to play something I can dance to". She then proceeded to work her way around my table to my Microwave setup and made me go thru my songs which she commented that "they all suck" and im "too young to be playing good music". So 20 minutes later, mind you everyone else is having a good time, she comes back up says some more bullshit about playing music for her to dance to. then a little while later she tells me that the biggie song that i am playing is way to obscene for her and she came behind my shit again, this time all touching my laptop and shit. I told her to please get out of my setup and please don't touch my equipment, where she proceeded to get angry with me and started making a scene. Eventually the owner had to intervene and get her out of there. Now did i do the right thing by swallowing my pride and staying cool? I mean im a nice guy and try to maintain a degree of professionalism when im working. But tonight i was on the verge of going ballistic on this broad. She really fucked me up for like half an hour and had me all distracted and shit with this nonsense. Last week too i had some doctor asshole come up to me at my weds gig and all be like "everyone at my table hates this music" and if i could "please play something older" when i was currently playing some james brown. I think im going to buy that no requests t-shirt and just yell at people when they ask for dumb shit. like "FUCK YOU! CANT YOU SEE IM WORKING, TRYIN TO PAY THESE BILLS, MOTHERFUCKER!?!?! IF YOU DONT LIKE GO THE FUCK HOME!!!!" 
Comments
i think she wants you...
except they show a drummer with a drum kit
I'm playing Common "Bitch in Yoo"...
Girl comes up to the booth and says, "Play some N***a beats!"
I took a deep breath and didn't say a thing, she just look puzzled and walked away.
It was fucked up.
Keeping your cool is a must. DJ 101. But every once in a while you just gotta clown the right dummy for some personal justice. You should practice your responses in the mirror. "Ill see what I can do." "Oh ,no doubt, ill find that soon." or "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE BITCH, I'M THE N***A KING!!!!"
I don't believe that you need to remain polite. There are nice discreet ways of telling people to f#ck off without loosing your cool. These kind of people need to be told - because they are the same kind of people that are annoying in every situation in life..
In this situation I usually tell them (almost always women) "Listen, I'm going to say this for your own good - your really really drunk - Do your self a favour and go chillout for a while, because your getting f#cking annoying"
This is always works for me. the person will always look a little confused and embarrassed, but will always leave me alone after that.
never really have any problems with guys requesting. More often than not they are loving the music, and they either (1) request something that I actually have - or (2) start telling me how f#cking awesome I am to the point that they won't stop leaving me alone or get out the DJ booth - which is a whole different problem
Look how everyone is dipipng on the snare hits! Synchronized
I guess what happened to me the other night (see above) with the girl asking me to play some n****r beats when I was already playing a hip hop song is an example of the word becoming common use amongst white hipsters (who listen to the "electro" shit that makes me very upset boy)
cosign
done that a few time myself - a nice tried and trusted technique
Then it is ok to have people ejected, IMO, at least from the vicinity, and if need be, the club. I get right up to and in the way of anyone asking to come behind or look at records. The answer is NO. PERIOD.
Luckily at the spot I spend most of my waking DJ time, the staff is very good about taking care of the DJs from that perspective. On my word I could have someone removed with little to no question asked(not that it has come to this, thankfully), but I at least have the total freedom to tell someone if they don't like the music, LEAVE. This I have done once.
My other 2 cents is in regards to how to handle requests, terminal cluelessness,etc. I now just smile and say "sure!", or I tell them "I just played that! You didn't hear that???!", no matter what they are asking for. It really works well. Lately when I get requests they have been reasonable, but then again we play Fergie/Shakira/Justin occasionally.
1) you probably did the right thing, but the owner should have had your back sooner. people just don't get the principle that it's rude to ask for a request if you're a) not at a barmitzvah b) not at a wedding c) have common sense/respect for the DJ
2) i usually placate the person saying i'll put something on. but sometimes when they come off rude to start with, i give it right back. either way, i get paid up front, so its the owner's fault if they start pushing up on me and ruin the set.
which brings me to:
3) once some guy came up to me and started looking through my records. i was mixing then, and didn't notice. i turned around and smacked his hand like he was 10 years old. he got heated and then said, "you don't have anything good anyway." and i said, "hey i didn't go up to your girlfriend and shove my hand up her skirt and then call her ugly, get the fuck out of here." one thing led to another and the bouncers kicked him out. which brings me to:
4) i actually got in a fight with a clown. he was dressed like a clown, for some party (nope not halloween though). it was a bar that i was on my way out of anyway (wanted to move on to another spot for my weekly) and it was my second to last gig there. then this clown comes up to me and asks me to play this cd-r, of his "boy's dope hip hop."
i take it and say i'll listen to it first. ten minutes later, he comes over asking why i haven't played it. i say that it doesn't fit in to what i'm playing tonight and the girls are on the floor dancing to mona lisa so i'm not going to mess with that vibe.
he didn't like that and said i was a fucking punk for not putting it on. i took my headphones off and threw his cd-r across the room, and he grilled me, clown outfit and all. he actually said don't get your ass beat by a clown it wouldn't look good, and pushed me. he was about 100lbs heavier than me and significantly taller so, i responded by hitting him in the face with my pint glass, and hitting him a few times in the head with a mag-lite they kept behind the booth.
i didn't play there anymore, and they still owe me $150 from the bar receipts. so yeah, you did the right thing.
but my favorite is "can you play my request soon, i'm leaving in a minute?"
these are the same people whose world view is so distorted they don't flush public toilets, throw their garbage on the ground next to garbage cans, and hit the elevator button in the lobby again after it is already lit.
you did good. clowns are evil.
Fuck a clown.
So wait - you consider someone touching
your records the same as someone sexually
& verbally assaulting your girlfriend?
Here's my question: how many DJs have ACTUALLY gotten into a fight with some asshole over a request? Like blows were exchanged?
one time.
kind of a lame fight, but this assholes opening line was "hey dickhead, play some Gloria Estefan"
i am not kidding.
it was a xmas party for the local city council (ahhh yeah bitches, the glamorous DJ life was just nonstop)
i was playing some cheesy disco track (pick one) and this dude just wouldnt lay off with his Estefan requests
"do the conga, you must have do the conga"
i finally snapped, told him gloria estefan is a whore and anyone who likes it should be destroyed, told him to "fuck off you sad cunt"
he shoved me over the decks and the needle skipped, everyone turned in time to see my right hook connect, he fell backwards down a small step and ended up on his back on the dancefloor.
i kept playing, his mates took him away and the night was complete shit.
told you it was a lame story.
being nice is definately a great policy though even with these expert wind up merchants. it might seem like a good idea to tell a girl to fuck off cos she wont go away until you play Bryan Adams 'Summer of '69', but then it'll turn out she's the girlfriend of the barstaff and they stop bringing you over free drinks pretty quickly.
that's exactly what i'm saying. and by slapping his hand i was saying i don't like black people. and by get the fuck out of here i was calling him a honkey.
i'm not sure if you were joking, but you should see its obviously a metaphor for doing something you shouldn't then trying to act like you didn't want to do it in the first place.
"Good choice!! Damn, I left that in my other box.. I knew someone would ask for that.. Hey, since you're into that and I couldn't fill that request I'll tell you what I'm going to do for you cause I'm in such a good mood up here... I'm going to play some special crazy ass suped-up super surprise for-your-ears-only shit especially for you tonight when I can fit it in so keep an ear out for it! .... Hey whats your name... I'll give you a shout when I put it on mayne....."
Then, half an hour later...........
'Yo... This one's especially for my man (insert name)... this one's for you, man... Yo, everybody give it up for (insert name).. *crazy applause* this shit is for YOU....
Then you DROP it for em.
If I'm spinning for a bunch of record geeks, it's a different dynamic. The above is more for a general club crowd. Normal people never fail to piss me off with their stupid, inappropriate behavior.
"Can you play some Garth Brooks?"
"Can you play some Lynard Skinard?"
"Do you have any country?"
"Can you play some phill collins?"
"Are those records? You must be an 80's child?"
"You are great. I love what you are playing? I am going to have a dance off can you play something else, something with a really big beat?"
At one point I ran to take a piss and I came back and this bitch is up in the booth flipping through my records. I said scram bitch and she ran away like a little cockroach. All in a nights work. Some of that shit was just plain funny. It was a weird night in general. The bouncer told me in his 5 months working at this place he had only ever had to kick out 2 people. On this night he kicked out 3.