TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    I watched this artist-competition-reality-elimination-type show where they asked them to construct a public piece of art for the streets of NY. One team built a giant chair to observe 'the only clear piece sky in a chaotic overbearing skyline. to hopefully bring a moment peaceful contemplation to busy New Yorkers'.

    Turned out there was a reason there was reason there was such a gap there. It was the space previously occupied by the Twin Towers.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,954 Posts
    Berlin

    My dad insists this is what gave Germany it's industrial advantage, as Britain's manufacturing nosedived over the last few decades. He recalls working locally in the sixties and seventies on heavy plant that was thirty to forty years old already. The management attitude was "If it ain't broke...".

    Meanwhile Claus und dem were all blessed with brand-spanking new plant that was ten times more efficient. Euromang batting out Bee Ems and bulletproff W124 Mercs. We answered back with...



    ...The Allegro.

    "For you, Tommy, ze game ist over."

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,954 Posts
    Christmas background music everywhere.

    'Kin 'Ell.

    I can ride for a Rat Packer "Let It Snow" or some Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire shit - with ease, I cast my mind back to a wholly fictional Winter spent in a remote log cabin in Vermont, six-foot of snedge all 'round, with nothing else to do other than neck Dram, monster mince pies, and knock the back out of some wholesome Doris Day type on a fireside pelt.

    But really, the perpetual Noddy/George Michael medley is harshing my mellow. I find the Slade chords evoke a certain melancholy, perhaps even a manic, getting-hung-in-the-morning, thousand-yard-stare drinking binge.

    GM's effort seemed perfect for end-of-school-disco smooch hunts but as the years go by, the cynicism with which he wielded his pen, with perfect seasonal timing, makes it all seem as genuine as a three-and-a-half pound note.

    At this time of year, they must see their bank balances moving like an inverse Scrooge (post-ghosts).

    Still, it keeps Band Aid off the air for a while.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    I find that listening to any pre-Corner Different era George with ears turned 180 degrees helps.

    We know, and he knew, he was crooning about boyz but couldn't be overt. This killed him, killed him I tells ya, and made the angst even more heart-wrenchingly angsty.
    In this regard I can view George as the epitome of tortured soul artiste, for which I heartily endorse etcetera.

    No love for the Chris 'Dire' Rea?
    The Driving home for Xmas ditty is banal and surreal, and that it was a hit with his voice and his visage, makes it more palatable annually. And the smooooveness of the playing is hypnotic.

    No, no love for the Mistletoe and Whine.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,954 Posts
    skel said:
    George

    I have time for man, no doubt. I rate his singing and wordsmithery. "Careless Whisper" a very mature piece for one so young as he was. Also seems to have taken his very public Outing on the chin :ayo: and can laugh at himself. For this, I can forgive man the "Cheese" section of his catalogue.

    skel said:
    Rea

    Whilst not knowing him personally, I am told he is a Bloody Good Bloke IRL and generous to the tune of donating a few of his Paul Reed Smith axes to a bloke I knew when I was in Manchester. I can't ride for his music but I wouldn't throw the radio at the wall. His guitar steez has always reminded me of Dire Straits. I could be way out on that, of course, but don't want to spend any more time listening to the facts. Life is too short and I remain unrepentant.

    No, no love for the Mistletoe and Whine.

    I will always envisage him as a bad n0nc3 now. Double the reason to forget he ever existed.

  • I ride for Listen Without Prejudice vol 1.
    Very good LP.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    I ventured inside a 99p store today. Cheap sticky tape dispenser related. Shit was intense. full on modern xmas experience.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Okem said:
    I ventured inside a 99p store today. Cheap sticky tape dispenser related. Shit was intense. full on modern xmas experience.

    Cheap Sellotape, cheap rice and cheap shaving foam: file under 'false economy'.

    For shame, Moke son.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    skel said:
    Okem said:
    I ventured inside a 99p store today. Cheap sticky tape dispenser related. Shit was intense. full on modern xmas experience.

    Cheap Sellotape, cheap rice and cheap shaving foam: file under 'false economy'.

    For shame, Moke son.
    I... I didn't know.

    I only wanted to dispenser tbh. When wrapping the presents, finding that sellotape end bit and peeling some off quick enough to stick down the complex origami folded corners before the whole thing unravels itself, is one of the more annoying parts of my xmas xperience. 99p dispenser solves said dilemma.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,954 Posts
    Okem said:
    I only wanted to dispenser.

    Dispenser, schmentzer.

    We all know the truth:

    Man was stocking up for a Christmas spread, founded on 12 Monster Munch (Onion) and 24 "NRG" Drinks (doubtless to be cut with quid-a-litre Chenyenkov Vodka).

    I know it can get isolated out there in the sticks, so I for one will cast no stone.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,954 Posts
    skel said:
    cheap shaving foam: file under 'false economy'.

    In my formative adult years, I used to take masochistic pleasure from being able to achieve a clean shave with nothing other than the lather from a bar of Imperial Leather and the cheapest Bic. I guess I was influenced by Mike Tyson's no-nonsense counter to the tassles and glitz of lesser opponents, and also because That Is How Northerners Should Roll.

    However, an unscheduled sleep over at a bird's yard once left me bereft of toiletries in the morning, and I was offered the use of a housemate's Noxzema shaving foam and a fresh Mach 3 to do the deed. I cannot tell a lie, shit was like night and day, thun. I never looked back. Personally am now onto the gel stuff, as it's less messy and can be lathered up on the skin.

    I hear your laughter, but Real Headz know the deal viz-a-viz Dorian Gray.


  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:

    I hear your laughter, but Real Headz know the deal viz-a-viz Dorian Gray.

    I have sensitive skin and use an electric sparingly. Can't deal with moisturisers either as they either contain alcohol or are scented, or are too oily, so I'm about Vaseline (AYO) post-shave.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    So now I'm back on the shores of fair Albion, I feel safe enough to put teh boot into Barcelona*. Mainly this is a food gripe (prompted by a really good ham & cheese sandwich w/ English mustard).[em]
    What?[/em] I hear neutral parties gasp, [em]An Englishman has the nerve to complain about food?[/em]

    Well, news flash for those unenlightened folls; the English no longer live under War rationing, or the shadow of that period which has gained us such world-wide renown for crimes against food, but like football violence, despite there being far, far worse perpetrators out there, we are the go-to example for the lazy and ignorant. When asked by my Catalan/Spanish friends & students what I miss about England, food comes as a shock to them, for they perceive me to have left behind a country of people who subsist on rocks and dirt. For starters Britain does much, much better baking, both savoury (breads etc) and particularly the sweet variety. In fact any diary based-food is done better in Britain, and in particular cheese. One student looked at me as if I had said that I believe the world to be flat at this remark, so I talked her through the things needed for cheese. Milk. From cows. Who need grass. Which needs rain. DEAL. A bit of research to back this up shows that Britain has 800+ varieties of cheese, easily the most in Europe. Spain seems to have 3, one of which is an imitation of parmesan.

    What the British definitely need to take from Spain regarding food is setting aside more time to prepare it and eat though. Lunch is typically the main meal of the day, and you can get an amazing 4 course deal w/ a bottle of wine for around 10 euros in most parts of Barcelona. This makes afternoon classes kind of difficult without a strong coffee!


    Traditional Catalan X-Mas meal seems to involve soup followed by stuffed pasta shells. Fuck that. I want a massive piece of slow-cooked animal with all of the trimmings, with alcohol hours (days even) before, during, and after. Also they celebrate "Kings Day" on the 6th of January - the kings being the 3 wise men from the Bible - and this is when some families exchange presents. Two Christmases is kind of nice, but it feels like they've also spread out the importance a bit. Which is the main deal? Some Castilian Spanish will say X-Mas eve, Catholic mass is the main day. They have a day like Boxing day named after a saint, then there's these Kings as well, so it's hard to know which day you'd actually be getting excited about.

    The Catalans do have one X-Mas tradition that is bizarre yet excellent; Tio Caga (Uncle Shit). They take a log, paint a face on one end, and children hit the log with a stick in an effort to make him shit presents.img src="
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/38/Cagatio.jpg" alt="" />


    * No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, or the Catalan variation.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Okem said:
    When wrapping the presents, finding that sellotape end bit and peeling some off quick enough to stick down the complex origami folded parts

    Ok, then I get it. Here's the trick; after the first (easy) end is done, end #2 is all and only about scrunching it up and plastering with about 17 layers of Sellotape. Proper man moves.
    That is all.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Duderonomy said:


    I have sensitive skin.

    Man the fuck UP.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    So now I'm back on the shores of fair Albion, I feel safe enough to put teh boot into Barcelona*. Mainly this is a food gripe (prompted by a really good ham & cheese sandwich w/ English mustard).[em]
    What?[/em] I hear neutral parties gasp, [em]An Englishman has the nerve to complain about food?[/em]

    Well, news flash for those unenlightened folls; the English no longer live under War rationing, or the shadow of that period which has gained us such world-wide renown for crimes against food, but like football violence, despite there being far, far worse perpetrators out there, we are the go-to example for the lazy and ignorant. When asked by my Catalan/Spanish friends & students what I miss about England, food comes as a shock to them, for they perceive me to have left behind a country of people who subsist on rocks and dirt. For starters Britain does much, much better baking, both savoury (breads etc) and particularly the sweet variety. In fact any diary based-food is done better in Britain, and in particular cheese. One student looked at me as if I had said that I believe the world to be flat at this remark, so I talked her through the things needed for cheese. Milk. From cows. Who need grass. Which needs rain. DEAL. A bit of research to back this up shows that Britain has 800+ varieties of cheese, easily the most in Europe. Spain seems to have 3, one of which is an imitation of parmesan.

    What the British definitely need to take from Spain regarding food is setting aside more time to prepare it and eat though. Lunch is typically the main meal of the day, and you can get an amazing 4 course deal w/ a bottle of wine for around 10 euros in most parts of Barcelona. This makes afternoon classes kind of difficult without a strong coffee!


    Traditional Catalan X-Mas meal seems to involve soup followed by stuffed pasta shells. Fuck that. I want a massive piece of slow-cooked animal with all of the trimmings, with alcohol hours (days even) before, during, and after. Also they celebrate "Kings Day" on the 6th of January - the kings being the 3 wise men from the Bible - and this is when some families exchange presents. Two Christmases is kind of nice, but it feels like they've also spread out the importance a bit. Which is the main deal? Some Castilian Spanish will say X-Mas eve, Catholic mass is the main day. They have a day like Boxing day named after a saint, then there's these Kings as well, so it's hard to know which day you'd actually be getting excited about.

    The Catalans do have one X-Mas tradition that is bizarre yet excellent; Tio Caga (Uncle Shit). They take a log, paint a face on one end, and children hit the log with a stick in an effort to make him shit presents.img src="
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/38/Cagatio.jpg" alt="" />


    * No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, or the Catalan variation.

    Great post L*o.
    The truth is, euromang food is vastly over-rated, and Briddish food quite under-rated.
    When a Paris, the Prix fixe mob are resting on laurels and I'd much rather partake of an all-day breakfast in random caff in the Old Kent Road.
    Squid tapas? Mate, yours.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    You definitely appreciate some things more once you've left them behind...


    ... which reminds me, when I arrived in back in Oxford Sunday night, I had half an hour to kill before my bus to my mum's house arrived, so I went in search of a snack. As I crossed the road I heard my name called out. It was one of The Landlord's (of crackhouse fame) drinking buddies called Kareem (real name Kevin, but he decided it wasn't oriental enough as he's half-Singaporean), slouched on a wooden chair dressed as Santa, drinking cider and holding a sign pointing to a sandwich shop along the road.
    Outside, at 10pm, on a Sunday night in the cold.
    Immediately visions of Dan Aykroyd in Trading Places came to mind, and the way that a Santa costume on the wrong person in the wrong situation can bring home the misery of X-Mas for many people. Kareem told me that he's sofa surfing and had just landed this job with the sign. Some things never change, and I guess this brush with familiarity was strangely reassuring, if also quite sad.


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,954 Posts
    I too cannot understand the hatt for British food. I think I've eaten great meals of every origin here. And I am being fair, I have had a few bad meals here but on only a handful of occasions. Every place will have cheap-and-nasty fare; the trick is taking advice and eating elsewhere.

    In NYC a while back we tried a few italian joints for pizza and pasta (as recommended by Real NYC Headz on a jazz forum, pre-SS) in Manhattan and found the pizzas were huge but bland. Pizza Express here are better. The pasta joint was very good, but nothing you couldn't get in the UK. I mean, I was expecting there to be a multi-nuanced level of taste to "Authentic" NYC-Italian fare that just could not exist here, but this was not the case, to my palate.

    Of course there may be some uber-incredible mom and pop joint in Hoboken or Lake Erie that teleport the tomatoes in from a Sicialian utopia, but them folks are not likely to be the ones putting the boot in on Brit food.

    I did have an excellent Chinese in Broom Street (Funky Broom) but, like, no better than the Mandarin here in Nottingham.

    The curry houses down near them alphabet streets were all poor. I suspect it's because they are using Mexican cooks.

    Best meal I've ever had was Thai in Hong Kong. We went on opening night, small place, they were actually putting the windows in while we were walking past, but it smelt incredible and they insisted the kitchen was open and we took a punt.

    Tom Yums, IIRC.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    I've eaten all over Italy, but best Italian food wise by a long chalk is Il Bordello in Wapping.

    However, tastiest meal of all was in a Tokyo side street yakitori joint.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    I think where this country falls down is on quick street food, which can be pretty dire. It's bound to be a stumbling block for most visitors. Unless you know somewhere good and are willing to go out of your way, buying lunch to go in most areas is a depressing experience. It's all Greggs, Subway or shitty M&S sandwiches.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Okem said:
    I think where this country falls down is on quick street food, which can be pretty dire.

    Protestant (work ethic) countries vs Catholic countries.

    Prods have their priorities all mixed up. Food is squeezed into meagre time while on the job. For Catholics, work is something that fits around mealtimes and family, not the other way round.

  • dukeofdelridgedukeofdelridge urgent.monkey.mice 2,453 Posts
    um ahoy blokes I watch EPL soccer early in the morning when it's on NBCSports channel app.

    Tell me all there is to know about Giroud. I feel he may be the best of us. Like, it's either him or Dwayne The Rock Johnson. If Giroud's even halfway chill he's probably the number one human specemin.




  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,903 Posts
    dukeofdelridge said:
    Dwayne The Rock Johnson



  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    upside of this years chelsea...

    with fabregas doing the play making and costa upfront being a threat..hazard is free to express himself and take the game over when needed (brilliant again today despite loss)

    willian, matic and oscar maturing

    azpilicueta and ivanovich being brilliant, terry not to slowed down and cahill good
    strongest multi skilled back 4 in europe
    lot of trophies up for grab this year


    downside

    mou tactics not 100% and not using depth as well
    letting go of frankie lampard will come back to haunt us
    cant yet take out real or bayern
    league cup could slip away at the last minute and rest will become useless unless we win CL


    barcelona upside

    munir, rakitic, bartra are the future
    suarez,messi,neymar could work


    problemas

    fabregas was already the future and we made a huge mistake
    comedy of tranfer errors (mathieu should have been brought in earlier for less,,vermaelen really?)
    defense problems still not adressed (we will burn out mascherano and should have sold pique)
    fuked with on signings to improve the back

    REAL is beasting, all the usual titles will not be attainable and crisis mode will kick in
    ownership/board fucking up


  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    what is your mid season take on your team?

  • welp, to say that arsenal didn't impress me this morning would be a little bit of an understatement.


  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    pcmr said:
    what is your mid season take on your team?

    My team Millwall doing utter shite. Getting battered by the quality teams, Holloway is a defeated clown, and all of our players are rubbish.
    But better to be battling relegation than stuck in some mid-table mediocrity vacuum.

  • my mantra of "every footy fan should have at least a minute allegiance to an EPL team" is really conflicting when bayern is playing as well as they are.

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,903 Posts
    pcmr said:
    what is your mid season take on your team?

    Sub par season for the most part so far. I really thought we've make a strong go of it, but I kinda thought they tried too hard to compensate for the loss of Suarez and it was just too much so quick. It was kinda like they were trying to rebuild.


    But now I'm gutted with the talk of Gerrard leaving. I thought he would retire, but rumours flying he'll be off to MLS? At least I'll be able to see him play once in a while.




  • DOR said:
    pcmr said:
    what is your mid season take on your team?

    Sub par season for the most part so far. I really thought we've make a strong go of it, but I kinda thought they tried too hard to compensate for the loss of Suarez and it was just too much so quick. It was kinda like they were trying to rebuild.


    But now I'm gutted with the talk of Gerrard leaving. I thought he would retire, but rumours flying he'll be off to MLS? At least I'll be able to see him play once in a while.




    You guys (sorry, "blokes") need some real sports. Your "athletes" all look like they would lose fights to washed-up US sitcom actors.

    JJ Watt all on his lonesome would kick the living crap out of any 3 UK "football" players combined, all at once. I'd pay to see it.
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