Dear Mr. Ebay Seller

RockadelicRockadelic Out Digging 13,993 Posts
edited April 2007 in Strut Central
Dear Mr. Ebay Seller, I am writing with the hopes that you have no clue that the record you're selling on ebay right now is VERY valuable. My intent is to make you a lowball offer and hope you're stupid enough to take it. Since I don't want to come right out and say that, I've made up a story about my sister getting married in 3 days and how I am DJ'ing the reception and I want to play a song off this tepid terd as a Wedding Gift. If you decide to sell it to me, and you receive emails from other buyers after the fact, just ignore them. They are all ex-boyfriends of my sister who are just pissed she is getting married. Regards, DJ Imsmarterthanyou

  Comments


  • volumenvolumen 2,532 Posts
    Dear Mr E-Bay seller,

    If you have time to post 20 times a day on Soul Strut, The-Breaks, Waxedermy and Stones Throw then you have time to get my record in the mail.

    Your Friend,
    IgetrecordsfromSweedenfasterthanfrominsidetheUS

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    Dear Mr. Ebay Seller-

    I don't know why you decided to sell a huge lot of soul 45s and only list a few of the artists and no song titles, but thanks for the score. I'm sure many of the 45s are rinked, but hopefully the Mickey and the Soul Generation 45 is in good shape. Either way, I'm only out a few bucks, and I'm sure there's some other good stuff among the 270-odd records.

    Please continue to list soul 45 lots among your used clothes and random crap.

    Sincerely,

    Justin

    P.S. Ha ha.

  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    Here's one I got yesterday... mind you this guy waited 2+ weeks to pay and when he did I noticed he'd deducted all shipping costs from the total...

    Hi - I have taken off the shipping cost for now because I'd like to send you a box for the lps to be packaged in. I've been having trouble with lp covers getting damaged in the mail due to the type of packaging used by sellers. I had been trying to email sellers to arrange for packaging that would protect lp covers better than a standard 13"x13" lp mailer, but this has proven to be very frustrating and time-consuming, as some sellers are very reluctant to depart from their usual packaging routine. By sending you my own lp mailer, I can make the process easier for you, and also ensure that any damage to the lp cover(s) will be avoided (or minimized, at least). I'll try to get it in the mail by the end of the week. I'm sorry for my delay in taking care of this up until this point... Regards

  • Here's one I got yesterday... mind you this guy waited 2+ weeks to pay and when he did I noticed he'd deducted all shipping costs from the total...

    Hi - I have taken off the shipping cost for now because I'd like to send you a box for the lps to be packaged in. I've been having trouble with lp covers getting damaged in the mail due to the type of packaging used by sellers. I had been trying to email sellers to arrange for packaging that would protect lp covers better than a standard 13"x13" lp mailer, but this has proven to be very frustrating and time-consuming, as some sellers are very reluctant to depart from their usual packaging routine. By sending you my own lp mailer, I can make the process easier for you, and also ensure that any damage to the lp cover(s) will be avoided (or minimized, at least). I'll try to get it in the mail by the end of the week. I'm sorry for my delay in taking care of this up until this point... Regards

    This sounds exactly like someone I had to deal with a few weeks ago. Is his name *K R**ot?

  • Here's one I got yesterday... mind you this guy waited 2+ weeks to pay and when he did I noticed he'd deducted all shipping costs from the total...

    Hi - I have taken off the shipping cost for now because I'd like to send you a box for the lps to be packaged in. I've been having trouble with lp covers getting damaged in the mail due to the type of packaging used by sellers. I had been trying to email sellers to arrange for packaging that would protect lp covers better than a standard 13"x13" lp mailer, but this has proven to be very frustrating and time-consuming, as some sellers are very reluctant to depart from their usual packaging routine. By sending you my own lp mailer, I can make the process easier for you, and also ensure that any damage to the lp cover(s) will be avoided (or minimized, at least). I'll try to get it in the mail by the end of the week. I'm sorry for my delay in taking care of this up until this point... Regards

  • RAJRAJ tenacious local 7,779 Posts
    Dear Mr. eBay Seller,

    It's been 10 days since I paid for my $7 record with a Paypal e-check, I even subtracted $4 for media mail. What gives? and I still have not gotten my record. It should NOT take this long. Do you have any tracking information?

    Signed....

    Lil Dude.

  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    Here's one I got yesterday... mind you this guy waited 2+ weeks to pay and when he did I noticed he'd deducted all shipping costs from the total...

    Hi - I have taken off the shipping cost for now because I'd like to send you a box for the lps to be packaged in. I've been having trouble with lp covers getting damaged in the mail due to the type of packaging used by sellers. I had been trying to email sellers to arrange for packaging that would protect lp covers better than a standard 13"x13" lp mailer, but this has proven to be very frustrating and time-consuming, as some sellers are very reluctant to depart from their usual packaging routine. By sending you my own lp mailer, I can make the process easier for you, and also ensure that any damage to the lp cover(s) will be avoided (or minimized, at least). I'll try to get it in the mail by the end of the week. I'm sorry for my delay in taking care of this up until this point... Regards

    This sounds exactly like someone I had to deal with a few weeks ago. Is his name *K R**ot?

    No, different name. THERE'S TWO OF THEM!



  • No, different name. THERE'S TWO OF THEM!

    Wow, I thought for sure it had to be the same person. This guy took two weeks to pay as well and had the same exact fixation on the inadequacy of a standard record mailer. Note the similarities:

    Hi - I just wanted to ask you about packaging real
    quick before sending payment, since the actual
    shipping cost may be affected. I'm generally very
    interested in receiving lps with covers in the same
    condition they are in prior to shipping. Problem is,
    I have found that those 13" square lp mailers that
    sellers usually use do not adequately protect the
    corners of the lp cover, and when such mailers are
    used, the lp covers often get dented/creased corners
    as a result of the package being dropped or handled
    roughly while in the mail. Would it be possible to
    place the lp in such a mailer (assuming that's what
    you normally use) and then place the mailer inside a
    slightly larger (and preferably rectangular) box? I'll
    be happy to pay extra for this of course - just let me
    know how much extra to include. Please let me know if
    you can package this way, and shipping cost, and I'll
    proceed to send payment asap.
    Thanks,
    --M***
    PS - The easiest way, I have found, is to put the lp
    mailer inside a large Priority Mail box. The
    potential snag is getting the box- I think some post
    offices make you ask for it at the counter...

    My response:
    I'm sorry M***, I plan to ship this LP the same way I ship everyone else's LPs. I would respectfully submit that it would have been better if you had broached this topic before bidding on the item, rather than bringing it up two weeks after the conclusion of the auction. If your concern about the possibility of bent corners overrides your desire to complete this transaction I understand and will not hold against you. If you do wish to complete the transaction that is fine too, with the understanding that the LP will be shipped in the standard manner that, to my knowledge, all respected dealers on ebay use, myself included.
    Best,
    Jesse

  • P.S., all this hassle over a common $10 new age record.

  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    Truly frightening.

  • ariel_calmerariel_calmer 3,762 Posts
    I offer double-boxing for an extra dollar. Only a few people have taken me up on it.

  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    I offer double-boxing for an extra dollar. Only a few people have taken me up on it.

    What type of box do you use for the outer one?

  • hcrinkhcrink 8,729 Posts
    *K R**ot

    Oh shit, you know what that is him. Duh. I thought you were referring to his actual name. How did your dealings with him turn out?

  • *K R**ot

    Oh shit, you know what that is him. Duh. I thought you were referring to his actual name. How did your dealings with him turn out?

    Sent the record out to him, packed normally, and that was the end of it (hopefully). He didn't write me to say the cover was dinged up or anything.

  • ariel_calmerariel_calmer 3,762 Posts
    I offer double-boxing for an extra dollar. Only a few people have taken me up on it.

    What type of box do you use for the outer one?

    One mailer for inner, one for outer...

  • SoulOnIceSoulOnIce 13,027 Posts

    If you have time to post 20 times a day on Soul Strut, The-Breaks, Waxedermy and Stones Throw then you have time to get my record in the mail.

    Gee, Jonny Paycheck always shipped stuff to me right away ...



  • Jonny_PaycheckJonny_Paycheck 17,825 Posts

    If you have time to post 20 times a day on Soul Strut, The-Breaks, Waxedermy and Stones Throw then you have time to get my record in the mail.

    Gee, Jonny Paycheck always shipped stuff to me right away ...




    Nice try - but I don't post on The Breaks or Stones Throw.

  • BreakSelfBreakSelf 2,925 Posts
    this was from sometime last year...


    Dear Mr. Ebay Seller-

    I received the Karen Dalton album you sent me, and appreciate the speed with which it was shipped. Unfortunately, however, I'm not very happy with the condition. The record is as you described other than a small visible (under a 100 watt bulb) and audible imperfection IN BETWEEN[/b] tracks one and two on the second side. As such it cannot be graded NM. How can we resolve this situation?

    kindly,

    Some jerk


  • KineticKinetic 3,739 Posts
    Dear Mr. Ebay Seller,

    Fuck and you and fuck ebay.

    Yours sincerely

    Me

    PS Yes,

  • spelunkspelunk 3,400 Posts
    Dear Mr. eBay seller,

    You need to step up your punctuation game:

    i charge 12.00 for all shipping no matter where in the US it was not a question asked on this partiucular item so it wasnt posted in questions unless someone asked either yourself or someone befor you and shipping as stated on selling page is to be asked if not sure average shipping cost is betwenn 5 and 9 dollars for priotity which is all i use i charge for packaging items which average package is 3 to 5 bucks i live somewhat near a postal service but i take it all in to consideration as well so i do charge a resonable handeling fee of 1 to 3 dollars as most people on ebay do these days i dont hide shipping if asked i tell them some items out of country are even more so its hard to post to the entire world so thats why i just average it out to 12.00 and thats the long and short of it upon paypal payment youll recieve in two days

  • luckluck 4,077 Posts
    this was from sometime last year...


    Dear Mr. Ebay Seller-

    I received the Karen Dalton album you sent me, and appreciate the speed with which it was shipped. Unfortunately, however, I'm not very happy with the condition. The record is as you described other than a small visible (under a 100 watt bulb) and audible imperfection IN BETWEEN[/b] tracks one and two on the second side. As such it cannot be graded NM. How can we resolve this situation?

    kindly,

    Some jerk


    OG or RE?

    Near Mint = NEAR Mint

  • luckluck 4,077 Posts
    Wow. A double post. just when I thought I was perfect.

  • BreakSelfBreakSelf 2,925 Posts
    this was from sometime last year...


    Dear Mr. Ebay Seller-

    I received the Karen Dalton album you sent me, and appreciate the speed with which it was shipped. Unfortunately, however, I'm not very happy with the condition. The record is as you described other than a small visible (under a 100 watt bulb) and audible imperfection IN BETWEEN[/b] tracks one and two on the second side. As such it cannot be graded NM. How can we resolve this situation?

    kindly,

    Some jerk


    OG or RE?

    Near Mint = NEAR Mint

    OG

    What was so infuriating is that 2 other people had asked me to check the grading during the auction, so previous to shipping it out I had already re-examined the condition,and play graded it all the way through. It was one of those records that you take one look at and can tell instantly that it hadn't been played more than once or twice. It was as NEAR mint as a record could possibly be.

    Anyway, the dude had really excellent feedback, so I agreed to refund the money as soon as he returned the record, which he did quite promptly (from Germany!). After it arrived, I spent about 10 minutes looking for the mark he had complained about. I didn't find it. I might have only been using a 60W bulb though.

    Sealed or better, dudes. Sealed or better.

  • Jonny_PaycheckJonny_Paycheck 17,825 Posts
    From last night:


    Dear Mr. Ebay seller,

    I asked to purchase this bad reggae 12" for $6 after it did not sell on auction. I paid $13 shipping to Japan. After three weeks it has not shown up so I am opening a paypal dispute. I actually DID receive it, but since it sucks, I figured I'd get my money back.

    Thanks,
    Quick Trigger Finger


    Dear Quick Trigger Finger,

    You're right. The record does suck. That's why nobody bought it when it was on my list. I wish you would've told me you didn't like it, and I would've refunded your money. But now I will do everything I can to make sure you live in PAIN for the rest of your puny, miserable life.

    Thanks,
    Bad Bad Leroy Brown

  • piedpiperpiedpiper 1,279 Posts
    Dear Mr. Ebay-Seller,

    thank you for hilarious item specifications/descriptions/categorizations

    loops, breaks, Breakestra, rare groove, drums, samples, Shadow, Keb Darge, Mod, Grand Slam, Cut Chemist, brainfreeze, Library, Product Placement, OG, rare, raer, beat, soulstrut.com, Big Daddy, Soul Patrol, blaxploitation, Northern, Wax Poetics, Stones Throw, heatrock
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