What are your man's or woman's "PAP-isms"?

Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
edited May 2005 in Strut Central
Hey Ladies and Gentlemen,

The post about household chores got me thinking mate's "isms" or habits. What isms does your mate have that irk the hell out of you? I'll name my wife's top 5:

1. She leaves her hair products on the sink in the morning.

-In response, I just rake them all into the bathroom drawer where she keeps them.

2. Her hair is EVERYWHERE.

-Don't get me wrong, I love her long, beautiful hair, but it's always all over the place. For example, in the bathroom, I've found her hair on my toothbrush (Yuck!).

3. She can snore very loudly sometimes.

-Damn, sometimes it's so loud, I go sleep in the guest room.

4. She leaves the kitchen chair out that she sits in.

-In response, I just push it back under the table.

5. She always calls before I leave work to tell me to bring home some shit from the grocery store.

-Keep in mind, my wife arrives home from work about 8 hours before I do. Why can't she pick up the shit she needs on HER way home from work?

That is all. Please add on.

Peace,

Big Stacks from Kakalak
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  Comments


  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts




    5. She always calls me to before I leave work to bring home some shit from the grocery store.




    Mine has a variation....she will ask me to do he "a favor" and "do this and/or that" as I am walking out the door! Drives me nuts!



    -I mentioned her sweeping dirt into a pile, then leaving it for me to toss in the dustpan(...why?)



    That's about all right now, I am pretty lucky, she is super low-maintenence over all.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    Putting the empty milk carton back in the fridge-ism: Once a month I clean out boxes/jars/bag/etc. with a just a little teeny tiny bit of food left - and I???m talking a bread bag with just crumbs left in the fridge. We are serious recyclers and composters, so it???s not a matter of just throwing things away ??? it???s a bit of a process, so he gets a bit lazy.

    Uses the teacloth for drying hands to wipe the counters and vice versa.

    Other than that, he???s great. I am easily and by far the slob.







    And I do the last minute grocery store thing, too.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    When my wife smokes an L and leaves the paraphenalia out in the open.
    "Put that shit away, my mom is on her way!"

  • drewnicedrewnice 5,465 Posts
    This goes for anyone, but I CAN'T STAND when someone eats something with their bare hands and then puts those greasy fingers on my computer keyboard and mouse!



    Wash them real quick, please?



    That is a definite pet peeve of mine.




  • funky16cornersfunky16corners 7,175 Posts
    My wife leaves the wireless phone handsets everywhere except for the phone base, so when the phone rings I have to start digging through couch cushions (to answer a phone with a nearly dead battery).

    She also manages to leave bottles uncapped (especially medicine bottles) ot with the cap on top but not screwed on, so when you go to grab it, cough syrup spills all over your hand.


  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    sometimes when it's late at night and we are lying in bed, i think my dude is awake and coherant so i talk to him and he responds but what he says totally doesn't make any sense. I'll be like "Do you remember where you parked your car?" and he'll say "Yeah..it's at Van Ness & Caesar Salad." HUH? I think maybe he was thinking of Cesar Chavez St, but he didn't even park there. Another time, he thought he was at work and kept calling me by his brother's name like "Pete we gotta rip out the floor boards now. Park the bobcat." Damn, I was so weirded out by that. It's like he goes to being tired-but-awake to half-awake/half dreaming in no time.



    another thing that bugs me is how messy his room is.

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    Another time, he thought he was at work and kept calling me by his brother's name like "Pete we gotta rip out the floor boards now. Park the bobcat."

    My wife to me: "Girl, you shoulda heard what Leslie did at work!"

    Me: "Sweetie...I am not a girl."

    Her: "Oh, you know what I mean. That bitch is crazy."

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    Another time, he thought he was at work and kept calling me by his brother's name like "Pete we gotta rip out the floor boards now. Park the bobcat."



    My wife to me: "Girl, you shoulda heard what Leslie did at work!"



    Me: "Sweetie...I am not a girl."



    Her: "Oh, you know what I mean. That bitch is crazy."



    wow that is so funny. that is almost exactly how i respond "mike! i am not peter." and he just goes on talking like i am.



    so this thing is common?

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts




    She also manages to leave bottles uncapped (especially medicine bottles) ot with the cap on top but not screwed on, so when you go to grab it, cough syrup spills all over your hand.






    Hey,



    That's an ism my wife has that I forgot about. She never fully closes those plastic zip-seals on like packets of dog treats, croutons, etc. I always riff on her that the stuff inside will go stale if the seal isn't closed (and I quote myself, "You don't like eating stale food do you, so why should the dog?"). She also "half" (or not fully) screws the tops on bottles all the time.



    Oh yeah, I have one more. My wife always parks the car crooked in the garage, drastically leaning to the left. Remember how I've said I'm a big guy, right? What happens is that I have to squeeze into this tight space when getting in the car so that I don't hit the car door on the garage wall, or rip the molding on the car door. Arrrrrrrrrgh!!!! Gettin' this off my chest is really cathartic. Don't get me wrong, I totally adore my wife!



    Peace,



    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    plaese to be nice to my fellow sleep talking folks. i would usually get slapped across the face until i woke up cuz the lady didnt like it when i sleep talked...

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Putting the empty milk carton back in the fridge-ism: Once a month I clean out boxes/jars/bag/etc. with a just a little teeny tiny bit of food left - and I’m talking a bread bag with just crumbs left in the fridge. We are serious recyclers and composters, so it’s not a matter of just throwing things away – it’s a bit of a process, so he gets a bit lazy.



    Uses the teacloth for drying hands to wipe the counters and vice versa.



    Other than that, he’s great. I am easily and by far the slob.















    And I do the last minute grocery store thing, too.




    Wooooooah!!!! My wife would call me out on that one. Stop steppin' on my toes, Miss Bassie!!!! And oh yeah, stop by the store on YOUR way home sometimes!!! Give the guy a break ever so often. Men like to come straight home too.



    Peace,



    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • KARLITOKARLITO 991 Posts
    This is gonna sound pretty corny, but all of my wifes "ism's" are what indears her to me more and more each day.

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    This is gonna sound pretty corny, but all of my wifes "ism's" are what indears her to me more and more each day.


    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! They don't irritate you at all?

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • Young_PhonicsYoung_Phonics 8,039 Posts
    This is gonna sound pretty corny, but all of my wifes "ism's" are what indears her to me more and more each day.



    So you're basically "appropriating" her "isms" from something negative to something that makes you love her more?




  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    This is gonna sound pretty corny, but all of my wifes "ism's" are what indears her to me more and more each day.

    You're right, that IS corny.

    It's just nice to know that she has to put up with me too...actually, I feel a bit guilty because she has to put up with way more now that I think about it! And it's nice to remember that everybody has their quirks.

  • JacobWizzleJacobWizzle 1,003 Posts
    Putting the empty milk carton back in the fridge-ism:

    I do that shit all the time!! Don't know why but I do. Wifedog hates it with a passion. Honestly I get on my wifes nerves a lot more than she gets on mine. She only gets on my nerves when she starts complaining about something I do.

  • KARLITOKARLITO 991 Posts
    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! They don't irritate you at all?
    I guess a little bit, but I don't stay annoyed by it for more than afew seconds. I mean one thing she does is makes everything sticky, fridge handle, counters, tv remote 'cause she will be eating ice cream or a jelly sandwich or some shit and somehow it gets all over her hand and DOESN'T EVEN NOTICE and just goes right about here business leaving goo in her wake. It's like a little kid or something so in the long run it's just kinda cute.

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    I just remembered a good one:

    I do the dishes more than her, but usually she has to tell me "don't forget the dishes", which is fine. Every so often, I go to do the dishes, and there will be bread soaking in a bowl full of water in the sink, like just a slice or two of bread! This makes my skin crawl, something about soggy bread just grosses me out something fierce. I then holler(everytime, even though this occurs every month or two)"Why in the hell is there BREAD soaking in this bowl? Can't you just throw it away?!", to which she replies, no, this is a West Indian superstition about throwing away bread that has not been soaked in the sink(I lose track of the long drawn out explanation, but feel compelled to ask everytime), and that is just how her mother does it at their home and it's just a habit, get over it,etc. Drives me nuts!

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Hey Birdman9,



    Speaking of dishes, here's another wife-ism that irks me: Putting a huge pot in the sink along with the rest of the smaller and more delicate dishes. "Hon", I say, "how can I wash dishes with a huge kettle taking up all of the sink space? Why don't you place the big pot to the side to leave some space?" She replies something to the effect of "what's the big deal, just move it?". Also, she puts delicate glasses in the sink with other dishes, yet she always blames me when the glasses turned up cracked. Bear in mind, I NEVER put glasses in the sink with the other dishes. I wash them separately.



    Here's another good one. My wife is really great at managing the finances. With that said, she keeps a tight reign on spending. But, check this out. I'll take out my "X" amount of money for the week, accounting for MY ritual of weekly spending (e.g., gas, lunch for x days, etc.), right? Next thing you know, wifey is asking me for some money (keep in mind she too can go to the bank machine), which I end up taking away from my weekly money needs. After I withdraw some more loot (since she's copped some of mine that I needed for the week), she riffs on me to watch my withdrawals. What????



    Peace,



    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    To be fair ??? these are the things I do that bug him:
    I don???t make the bed. (For what? You???re just going to get back into it and mess it up all over again. Seems like a futile exercise to me.)
    I don???t clean my hair out of the drain every single damn day (Come on??? every day? I do it once a week.)
    I over-feed the cats (But their eyes say ???I???m starving, give me more???.???)


  • My girl always mixes up names, especially when it's music related. Bugs the bat piss out of me, a very details oriented guy.

    Examples:

    "We went to go see Melt-Monkey" translation - we saw Melt-Bannana last night
    "Please don't play that Ronald Ayler record" translation - I have a headache, please do not play Albert Ayler right now
    "Fuck you, Sleater Kitty rocks" - translation - I understand you're over them, but I still enjoy Sleater Kinney
    "Will you put on that Sharon James and The Dap Kings album" - translation I like the new Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings record

    She's kinda like the white cop on Sanford and Son who always said shit like "Right off brother" and I have to pipe in and correct her going "Right on! It's right on!"

    But I still love her very much. If she can forgive me for being a plant killer, I can forgive her for being a name killer.

    SONIC

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    that is great and hilarious. i actually do the same thing but not with music. usually i know, but i blurt out whatever pops in my head before the thought actually formulates and my brain synapses get crossed.



    one time my coworker asked me if i knew where Marty sits. i had no idea who she was talking about but i said "you mean Marty Dibergi?" who is Rob Reiner's character in Spinal Tap.



    sidenote: i never liked Sleater-Kinney before, but i like this new album. it's really raucous, sexy and grown sounding to me.

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Hey,



    To be fair to the misses, I guess I should speak on my Stacks-isms that irritate her:



    1. If I get warm, I take off my sweatshirt and leave it on the couch somewhere instead of folding it and putting it away.



    2. I don't empty the bathroom and office wastebaskets soon enough (I smash the trash down and pile in more).



    3. I'll leave the milk jug (or any other drink) in the fridge with a trickle of milk (or drink) it it.



    4. I'll let the clothes hamper overflow and not respond (by washing them).



    5. I leave letters and other mail addressed to me on the kitchen table for days.



    6. I leave my ball caps on the bar counter instead of putting them away.



    7. In her words, "I buy too many damn records."



    8. Sometimes, I forget to give her the bank withdrawal slips for a few days (potentially throwing off her tally).



    9. I leave phone number slips (from messages she's left me) lying around instead of entering them into my planner.



    10. Every blue moon, in my rush to get to work, I might leave a "luggi" in the sink after brushing my teeth.



    11. I leave some excess hair on the sink after shaving my head.



    12. I let my "sidefro" grow in sometimes during semester break (hey, I'm just giving my scalp a break).



    Peace,



    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts


    2. I don't empty the bathroom wastebaskets soon enough (I smash the trash down and pile in more).

    4. I'll let the clothes hamper overflow and not respond (by washing them).

    5. I leave letters and other mail addressed to me on the kitchen table for days.

    7. "I buy too many damn records."

    all of the above apply to me, too.

  • ariel_calmerariel_calmer 3,762 Posts
    I do the dishes more than her, but usually she has to tell me "don't forget the dishes", which is fine. Every so often, I go to do the dishes, and there will be bread soaking in a bowl full of water in the sink, like just a slice or two of bread! This makes my skin crawl, something about soggy bread just grosses me out something fierce. I then holler(everytime, even though this occurs every month or two)"Why in the hell is there BREAD soaking in this bowl? Can't you just throw it away?!", to which she replies, no, this is a West Indian superstition about throwing away bread that has not been soaked in the sink(I lose track of the long drawn out explanation, but feel compelled to ask everytime), and that is just how her mother does it at their home and it's just a habit, get over it,etc. Drives me nuts!

    HA HA yeah my girl can't stand soggy bread either. It makes her puke. Seriously. She'll ask me to get rid of wet bread, she won't touch it.

    Let's see what I've got.

    She re-organizes areas she doesn't even use, like the kitchen, which is MY space, dammit. She hardly ever cooks. So why does she try to tell me I don't need the soft scrub on the top next to the sink, instead of in the cabinet? I use it every day so keep. it. out. (please, baby??)

    Most nights, right before she falls asleep, she startles herself awake. She says that it's because she dreams of tripping, and that wakes her up. Sometimes I'm almost asleep myself. It used to freak me out.

    She'll change her mind about things completely randomly. I do love this about her, but it's very strange sometimes. She'll say she hates peppers until one day I make a salad and she'll say how much she likes the peppers in it and I should use them more. Stuff like that.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts


    Most nights, right before she falls asleep, she startles herself awake. She says that it's because she dreams of tripping, and that wakes her up.

    I get this, too. The tripping part and everything. What's that about?

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts


    Most nights, right before she falls asleep, she startles herself awake. She says that it's because she dreams of tripping, and that wakes her up.

    I get this, too. The tripping part and everything. What's that about?

  • Sun_FortuneSun_Fortune 1,374 Posts
    My old lady:

    -- falls asleep after ten minutes we sstart watching a flick.
    -- leaves food out
    -- is convinced food spoils in a day, throws away that hot sauce I was saving
    -- wears scarfs all the time which bothers me cause her neckis my favorite part
    -- shops at urban outfitters and claims she went to thrift store

    other than that, she is perfect. no one else could possibly ut up with my "isms." Im bout to spark it on the mic.

  • djdazedjdaze 3,099 Posts


    Most nights, right before she falls asleep, she startles herself awake. She says that it's because she dreams of tripping, and that wakes her up.

    I get this, too. The tripping part and everything. What's that about?

    I do that shit too, I hate it...it's a violent way to wake up. usually I feel like i'm falling though not just tripping.

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts


    -- falls asleep after ten minutes we sstart watching a flick.


    My wife does this at home AND the theatres.
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